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1. Only 1 player can use the keyboard. No split keyboard, like in Overcooked.
2. The keyboard was chosen as "P1", and the 1st controller also sets itself up as "P1". You need to manually change the player-slot in which the keyboard occupies (it's in the options menu, it's not hard to find.)
And seriously -- if none of you have controllers...Better pucker up them buttholes and buy something cheap. I bought a cheap arse 15$~10$ PS3 controller from ebay, and sorted it out with user-made drivers (ds-hid-mini by nefarius, and DS4Windows by Ryochan7.)
We all played with controllers ^^'
If so, I can't really think of a solution outta the top of my head. You guys can also try to play via Parsec, which is practically the same as remote-play, just without Steam's overhead.