I've touched up the script a bit

[AliceEngine]

Before going into NG+ I wanted to remove the obnoxious slew of *asterisks*, ~tildes~, trim down the endless... unnecessary... ellipses... and replace the annoying dashes with proper punctuation. This worked mostly fine en mass, but since I still had to skim through the text to fix up stuff here and there, I went ahead and changed the script further to make it more palatable. So far I'm enjoying the fixes and figured I might as well share the file. Simply replace the one under Content\Localization, after making a backup of course.


Changelog, v1:

General improvement:

• Removed asterisks, tildes, most ellipses and dashes from the dialog
  
• Various abbreviations were expanded, because it's easier on the eye, and sounds more determined at times (such as "I will" vs "I'll")
  
• Some words were replaced with more fantasy-like substitutes (like despot --> tyrant)

Character refocusing. Their actions are now driven by their personality, not their junk and where they want to stick it:

• Neliste was conscripted because of her archery skills and left because of the killings. No shipping or gender shenanigans.
  
• Seykis + Eschem questlines/dialog are now based on gratitude/admiration instead of ♥♥♥♥ jokes. No shipping, obviously.
  
• No mention of Seykis + Rameda + Haristel shipping, or related ♥♥♥♥ jokes.
  
• The other ♥♥♥♥ jokes were removed, too.

Political agenda annihilation:

• The heavyhanded white supremacy garbage has been toned down / partially removed
  
• Truant of United Viletes is now Treant of Undivided Viletes because it's pretty obvious what the author was trying to do here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Before you start screeching, consider:

• Lunais tribe women still have wives, because there's an actual (reasonable) explanation for their social structure in the original campfire scene. While the scene has been rewritten for obvious reasons (hint: ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥), this wasn't taken out, just shifted around a bit.
  
• Queen Aelana's relationship has been left untouched as well, because it does not come across as being shoved into the game solely for unsavory reasons

All in all, the focus was on turning the script into something more sane than its current form but avoiding on blindly sanitizing it. There might be an update later, but maybe not.

Enjoy, or don't. https://ufile.io/6bdxz

[AmazingPenis]

Originally posted by Hutch:

Sarcasm is a feeling?

It's also rich coming from someone who's so mad about a game having queer people they're defending a mod that removes them. You're not just being a butthurt baby whining about your feelings, you're being a hypocrite.

To pre-empt the "no you" I'm expecting: I'm not the one claiming feelings are a bad thing. So yeah, I've got feelings of pissed off that homphobes exist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDzlM3OyjL8


Y I K E S

[Richter]

Originally posted by Hutch:

And Seykis is fine, for the record, from a guy who likes guys. You don't get to make calls on what we're okay with.

Nobody should make calls on what anyone should or shouldn't be okay with case-and-point.
< self-defeating notion, but only suggestive in nature.

Originally posted by Bukz:

I actually really appreciate this script rewrite. The weird, stilted dialogue really bugs me and the fact that everyone is talking about who they're banging every other line makes me fairly uncomfortable. I'm headed into NG+ now so this will give me a reason to not just skip all of the cutscenes.

I really appreciate the work they went into developing this game as I think it's super fun and the mechanics are awesome, but... The dialogue in the camp is pretty awful. I'm not at all a prude, and I'm not straight so it isn't about that either... I just came into this expecting a video game, not someone's tumblr fanfiction.

I was gonna say this but you got it

The game simply loses a point or two for the above mentioned between all the side characters. It's not what idealogy it's pushing that I mind, it's that it's just pushing an idealogy.
You can never ignore the fact that (generally) every character must have been born from male and female reproduction is how I will phrase it.
Observably, being straight is more naturally occurring than other things.
This narrative would sooner make every mom dad brother and sister bi and trans.
It's not that it can't have it, but it's imbalanced. It could be an insult if anything and backfires on the very thing it is supportive of.

"Queen Aelana's relationship has been left untouched as well, because it does not come across as being shoved into the game solely for unsavory reasons"

It felt shoved considering everything else that was going on....but ok

[Father Creamy]

To make up for all the "yikes" in this thread, can you make another version of the script that is doubly inclusive? It might be a fun experiment to see what parts of the kink community you can fit in, and possibly have people saying "yikes" for a completely different reason.

[Ralph the NADEr]

I'm more interested right now in seeing this updated to whatever new cutscenes were added for the latest patch, if if's needed.

[AliceEngine]

Originally posted by Father Creamy:

To make up for all the "yikes" in this thread, can you make another version of the script that is doubly inclusive? It might be a fun experiment to see what parts of the kink community you can fit in, and possibly have people saying "yikes" for a completely different reason.

Like what, turn Haristel into an attack helicopter? Anyway, now that there's been a bigger update, the file might cause some trouble. Only "might" because when I removed some lines as a test, the game simply complained but didn't crash because of it. I'd have to check but right now I don't have much time for such stuff.

[Father Creamy]

Originally posted by AliceEngine:

Like what, turn Haristel into an attack helicopter?

That'd be perfect for Haristel's otherkin identity.

[AmazingPenis]

Originally posted by Father Creamy:

To make up for all the "yikes" in this thread, can you make another version of the script that is doubly inclusive? It might be a fun experiment to see what parts of the kink community you can fit in, and possibly have people saying "yikes" for a completely different reason.

That would be interesting.

[Sebine]

The lead protagonist must be:

An Amputee, Trans-Binary, Dwarf-of-Color (at least 3 colors, but 5 of them must be a shade of brown, for MAXIMUM DIVERSITY!), Bi-Furry, Pan-Helicopter Neuro-Otherkin,

I'll add more ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ as people help me think it up.

[Xao]

Originally posted by Sebine:

The lead protagonist must be:

An Amputee, Trans-Binary, Dwarf-of-Color (at least 3 colors, but 5 of them must be a shade of brown, for MAXIMUM DIVERSITY!), Bi-Furry, Pan-Helicopter Neuro-Otherkin,

I'll add more ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ as people help me think it up.

You can start by representing all 31 genders recognized by Baskin Robins New York City.

http://trove42.com/new-york-city-recognizes-31-gender-identities/

Y'know... The really sad part is that I was making the Baskin Robins joke long before New York literally put 31 genders on the books. That feeling when people manage to outdo your satire.

[poisonous bacon]

Originally posted by Bizarre Fighting Technique:

Do these people that unironically spout bigot and fascist realize they are the ones making people turn racist/homophobic in the long run? Oh yeah they don't because they're all braindead goobers.

If that is enough to turn people bigot, does that means shoving poorly written LGBTQ characters into everything will turn straight people gay?

[GUY]

Originally posted by poisonous bacon:

Originally posted by Bizarre Fighting Technique:

Do these people that unironically spout bigot and fascist realize they are the ones making people turn racist/homophobic in the long run? Oh yeah they don't because they're all braindead goobers.

If that is enough to turn people bigot, does that means shoving poorly written LGBTQ characters into everything will turn straight people gay?

Wow another sarcastic response, hide all your opinions in the guise of humor in case they make you sound stupid, what do you think calling everyone that disagrees with you a nazi while promoting the punching of nazis make all these hillbillies want to do to gay people?

[Richter]

wow ya'll are such a salty bunch

[MetalShadowOverlord]

Originally posted by Grav:

You can start by representing all 31 genders recognized by Baskin Robins

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ now I can't stop thinking about Bill Nye's stupid sexual ice cream video.

[Xao]

Originally posted by MetalShadowOverlord:

Originally posted by Grav:

You can start by representing all 31 genders recognized by Baskin Robins

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ now I can't stop thinking about Bill Nye's stupid sexual ice cream video.

It really does write itself, doesn't it? At one point you could have shown me that, and I would have thought it was a tongue in cheek parody from some edgy sketch show.

How the hell did Bill Nye go from debunking pre-modernists to getting in bed with post-moderists.

[Hunter Este]

For those of you who are not aware. The witing for this game was done by the destestable company "Silverstring Media". They are very much on the forefront of the culture wars, and have a very strong and definate agenda to push. They are extremely anti-male, and anti-white.

I'm shocked that these developers would go with such an awful company to do the story for what would have been an otherwise excellent game.

I'm also deeply concerned that my threat calling the developer out for using the LBGTQ community was quietly locked in the middle of the night with no explanation why?

Developers, would you care to chime in? Are you allowing Silverstring media to police your forums now?

https://steamcommunity.com/app/368620/discussions/0/1734340257882740564/