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You need iron for everything, including new tools from your starter stuff. Making Crude Replacements isn't ideal so getting new replacement tools is ideal to get done early on.
Not to mention you'll need that iron for nails and so much more anyway.
You can essentially 'live in the mine' until you manage to get things situation to start building your own house as well as other things.
But always Iron #1. From there you can make a large-cart and venture off if you wanted to in relatively 'safe' manner as opposed to foot.
EDIT: Wurm is only known for long-term. Unless you set your Skill or Action timer rates high, you'll get long-term out of the game without mods.
By long-term I mean take long breaks and come back to my game. I wouldn't expect an online server to keep my stuff around.
I don't really know anything about mods for this game. I wouldn't be looking for any drastic game changing mods, more like mods that life a bit easier for the a single player game. I didn't get very far the last time I played.
I would really like to know my position on the map, for example.
This is a link to the mods my server uses, they're all great Quality of Life:
https://iron-nexus.enjin.com/forum/m/48032290/viewthread/31530917-mod-list/post/134145845#p134145845
But I'll strongly Recommend:
Dig Mod
Harvest Helper
Fire Burn Time
and anything listed under the Suggested Mods.
At the top of that thread is where you can find the modloader location, just follow the steps on it's page to install and when done use the forum's search bar to locate the ones listed that you'd like.
Be careful though, not all mods are for both Client and Server. Some are only Server Mods.
EDIT: You mention taking long breaks, how long is a long break? :P
I play Ark and tend to get bored when it feels like I am doing chores. Not sure if Wurm will feel like this with the animals etc.
Wurm is a Long-Term, Build and Harvest. If you thought ARK was 'chores', Wurm isn't a game for you I'm afraid.
Not unless you jack your rates up real high and essentially play it in Creative Mode with instant actions and skill gain through the roof.
Wurm I plan to shutdown when I don't want to play.
For the WurmServerModLauncher, are the mods that come with it (copied into the server mod folder) working by default? (hitching post, cropmod, bagofholding etc)
Without a matching .Properties file the mod won't be enabled.
And I don't really find Ark to be a chore, except when I want a break but have to keep logging in to feed everything. Like when I got the flu last month and couldn't play for several days and then didn't really want to get out of bed for another week.
Edit: and I left all the server settings default, I wasn't really sure what to change.