Depressingly true to life.

The only jobs available are low-paying, demeaning, menial jobs, and require long hours just to afford enough basic necessities to keep yourself presentable enough to appear at work the next day. Everything that might be fun to do is closed by the time you get off work. Every possible opportunity to better yourself through education and exercise is also closed by the time your day job is done. The only things still open are the most banal of entertainments--your choice of empty, vapid pabulum on a screen, or dancing and drugs, to take your mind away from the daily grind. Both of which only increase your "sociability" stat, which is useless for actually getting a better job. The jobs that require "sociability" are already taken by the pants-on-head moron who was in the same fraternity as the boss's clueless kid, and helped hold his hair back a couple times.

Even if the university, library, etc. were open into the night, there just aren't enough hours in the day to actually go to them. Once you've gotten enough sleep, eaten enough to survive, and worked enough to eat, that's it. The day is over. If you want to get more than that out of life, you have to start sacrificing necessities.

Soon you're showing up to work with less than 20% food, 20% sleep, and 20% hygiene, but no one cares; you're just another faceless drone who can't magically make the coffee machine spit out coffee any faster, nor figure out how to spell "Lundyynn" on the first try.

You scrimp. You save. You invest in your "garden" at home in hopes of generating some extra income selling "cabbage" out behind the convenience store. Somehow, through incredible effort, enduring sleepless nights, near-starvation, and bad personal hygiene, you save up enough to go to the university part-time. Finally, you think. This is the way out of this hole.

But as bad as the food-sleep-hygiene situation was before, it's even worse now. Power nap and power bar before work, and once again before class. Lather, rinse, repeat. Sleeping at night, the whole night? Eating full meals? What kind of madness is that?

But somehow, you do it. Bleary-eyed, gaunt with malnutrition, smelling faintly of sour dairy creamer and BO, you leave the university, flimsy paper diploma clutched tightly in one hoof. This is it. It's all been worth it, surely.

You check all the businesses in town, flinging job applications left and right. "Not experienced enough." "Nah, we'd rather hire someone from my son's fraternity again." "No, I think we're going to hire some guy who's 8 years from retirement age to fill 2 entry-level positions, instead." "What kind of degree even is this?"

In desperation, you return to the coffee shop and beg for your old job back. "Sorry, you're overqualified now. We can't possibly hire you, it's against corporate policy."

It's about then that your food, sleep, and hygiene meters all reach zero at the same time. You can't do anything. If you can even bring yourself to get out of bed, you just end up standing outside buildings, trying to will yourself to go in, to apply for a job, to just go see a movie again, even to just buy a meal. But you can't. You just can't. "Pony cannot do that because: unhappy."

It's then that you collapse in the street, broken, penniless, and alone; unable to die, yet unable to live.

GOTY 10/10

Day 1 of Pony World 3:

- Rendering issues for the main menu
- No money left, spent it all on a 'Tomato Growing'
- Yet to "Get Baby"
- My pony was denied a job because he was dirty and cried the entire way home
- My wife is apparently a man
- $40 for a croissant
- Attempted to kill myself by crushing my pony with a "Compost", didn't work, will try again tomorrow

Kill me / 10

Let me share with you the tale of my pony, a tale of love, loss, and life. On day one, he entered Ponyland happy, healthy, and ready to mingle. He struck up conversations with various ponies around town and made multiple friends almost immediately. However, this was not to last.

The trouble first began when he visited the pharmacy, and purchased a large dose of painkillers. While in a drug-induced delirium he entered a restaurant and ordered 3 chickens, and a steak, which for some reason was labeled 'ship'. Having only just sated his appetite for flesh, my pony discovered the hard way that inflation had hit Ponyland hard. He grimaced as he paid his $650 food bill and left.

By this time, night was falling, and my pony had nowhere to sleep. He wandered the streets by night, striking up conversation with passing female ponies, presumably hookers, until the early AM. The next day, we traversed the town looking to apply his trade as a waiter, but nowhere he checked had any positions open. In another drug-fueled fit, he spent $7800 on 13 sticks of bright red lipstick, marking the last of his initial funds. He had to find a source of income, otherwise he would not be able to partake in any of the overpriced amenities Ponyland had to offer.

Another sleepless night drew to a close as another day began. By this time my pony had not slept in 4-5 days, and his beauty, hunger, and happiness were drained to 0%. Due to his purchase of lipstick, there was nothing he could do, as a crippling onset of depression took hold of him. In a desperate ploy to boost his morale, he applied all 13 sticks of lipstick at once, caking himself in makeup. This did not however boost his mood at all. Having nothing left to do with himself, my pony tried to find work again, this time succeeding in landing a job as a barista at a coffee shop. But this victory was short-lived, as my pony found himself too unhappy to work. His income would have to wait.

Day 10 rolled around and still my pony had not slept. My pony's sullen figure roamed the streets of Ponyland, looking for anyone to talk to. At last he spotted a girl pony and struck up a conversation. He roped her into a 13 hour joke telling marathon, after which he found himself falling in love. As they watched the fireworks together, the light from the display illuminated a wedding ring on the pony's hoof (or whatever). She was married already. Devastated, my pony broke off all conversation with this harlot, vowing to never talk to a married pony again.

Day 15, and my pony had explored all parts of Ponyland, still battling his crippling depression, along with his abandonment issues. FInally, while trudging along the beach, he noticed a lone female pony. His thoughts raced to past interests and betrayal, but he didn't let that get in the way of talking with her. This time, he noticed she was single, a good sign. He repeated his perfect lady-game of telling jokes for 13 hours and watching fireworks until they were madly in love with each other. He even considered asking her to marry him on the spot, but he was bankrupt from his lipstick binge and had no other gifts to offer her. Dejected, he reluctantly left her and headed back into town, now more depressed than ever.

Two more sleepless and tear-filled nights passed and my pony found himself homeless, depressed, disheveled, and broke on the streets. It was Day 17, a fateful day. Still unable to participate in any fun activities or work for a source of income due to his unhappiness, my pony decided to call it quits on life.

Or rather, I decided to quit the game.

TL;DR this game is a fantastic real-life simulator. Battle depression, bankruptcy, homelessness, loneliness, and insomnia in a quest for true love.

Thank you for reading, and RIP my pony.

After avidly playing this game for a thousand hours, I can easily say this game has a better storyline than any other game I have ever played. The game is filled with shocking twists and emotion-ripping moments that far exceed the quality of games like Skyrim or Fallout: New Vegas. For a meer five dollars you can get your hands on honestly the best single player game in existence. There are no limits to how you can create your horse's story in this masterpiece. You can become a mare whose struggling for work, starving, and in desperate need of a steady income to support herself, or a stallion with a family, working as a doctor, living happily in his homestead. You can custom build your own farms, travel to different beautifully rendered locations such as the beach, or a forest. To sum this all up in a single sentence, Pony World 3 is by far the highest quality singleplayer story experience you can get at this point in time, it has been put together perfectly with no errors or immersion breaking glitches anywhere at any point in the game, and is incredibly underrated.

I give it a 10/10, itsa mastapiec.

Still a better game than Dota.

I would not recommend this game to anyone in its current state. I have no idea how this crap managed to cross the border onto steam with the poorly written english and very badly explained tutorial. Honestly A friend bought me this game for a big joke and it turned out I learned something, these devs are just using ponies as a sad excuse to sell a game that is unfinished and somehow had 2 games before it? My whole time playing was wander around, click stuff, be confused and quit. It's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

I put this game on my wishlist as a joke
a freind bought it for me as a joke
I now own Pony World 3 as a joke
forever....(._.)

I am actually am going to do an in depth review of Pony world 3. If you want to read the review before the foreword, just scroll down.

[[Foreword]]
It was 2013, my friend was turning 19 or 20, can't really remember. I happened to have his birthday marked on my phone calendar, so I would do what I always do, I'd call him like any other "old-school" timer would do and wish him a happy birthday, instead of writing a non-personal message on facebook. At the time, there was a sale of the "Train simulator - Zombie edition!" on steam. It was for an approximate of 2£ total. And, seeing as me and my friend are not really materalistic people, I thought it would be fun to buy him this as a joke gift, and guilt trip him in to playing it - and of course guilt tripping him for not playing it often enough. We had a good laugh about it.
Fast forward to 2015. We spoke about this specific gift at one of our buddy's teamspeak channels, and he stated that he'd buy me something (even though my birthday had passed), and he'd force me to play it and stream it. Thus began my nightmare that sent me in to "Pony World 3".


[[Review]]

Specs:
Geforce GTX 980 (4GB)
Intel i7 - 3.50 GHZ
16 GM RAM
Windows 8.1

---SparkleQueef---

SparkleQueef was the name of the pony that I created. She was a horribly looking character with incredibly ♥♥♥♥♥♥ textures. Right away when I booted up the game, I was greeted with a cute starting screen of a "globe" rotating around showing us the Pony world. The floor was flickering white (game can't handle 144HZ) and it almost gave me epilepsy. The graphic options were limited and It really can't make your game look any better. The textures of this game are HIDEOUS and the UI is dreadful. However, this is a children's game, so, let's dive in to the gameplay itself.

---"You are too dirty to go to the theatre"---
You start off by your farm, it creates a Farmville-esque vibe, which must be fun for children. You start off with a good amount of cash to build your farm, or "home area." Pro-tip : Get a shower and a house, seriously, get a shower. The building system reminds me a bit of a incredibly dumbed down version of the sims- which is good, since this is a kids game. Once I had tried out buying a couple of things, I decided to set out in to the world. I went to a beach of some sorts, where I could meet other ponies (who are douchebags, by the way.) You can start talking to ponies about your farm, your hair, your job or you can gossip. This will determine weather the pony will like you or not, if this has any impact on the game - i don't know. I never managed to get that far. I really wanted to try out other things. I traveled across the glitchy landscape to the city. The city, is a great place. I mean this- honestly. This is where the game shines! There are no graphical glitches by the city and it is well organized, and there is so much to do in the city! Sparklequeef's occupation was a hairdresser (obviously), so she could apply for a job at a beauty salon. Anywho, I saw a theatre, so, I made my way to the theatre and tried to get in. However, it was closed, and it opened at a later hour- thus i waited. Once it opened, i tried to get in. But SparkleQueef was too hungry to go to the theatre. So, she went to the local Café and got herself some cappuccino. She was really hungry, so she completely gluttonized those cappuccino's. Then, she made her way back to the theatre, but SparkleQueef was too tired to go to the theatre - understandable. So, we went back home, slept, got her restored, went to the Theatre. But SparkleQueef was too hungry to go to the theatre. We went back to the Café, gluttonized a ton of cappuccino's, back to the theatre, then, the message popped up. "SparkleQueef is too dirty to go to the theatre." So, I went back to my farm and tried to shower, however, I had no shower. So, I decided to buy one, however, it cost 2100$. I could not afford it, I had to apply for a job. I went to apply for a job, but SparkleQueef was too dirty to apply for a job.

So, i closed down the game.

It's really bad, but, your kids might like it. 3/10

Big thank you to my darling daughter who I unwisely made an agreement with over this game. After finding it in the survival section of the store she insisted on buying it for me on the understanding that I would clock up an ungodly number of hours on it and no being asleep in from of my computer allowed. Laughingly I agreed - I mean I like cute junky kiddie games, how bad could it be...?

*sigh*

I got so bored I actually wrote a guide for it. >.<

Okay so you have a pony and it walks around in a vaguely cute environment. Unfortunately everything that comes after that feels like someone sketched a vague idea for it out and then forgot to actually implement it. Instead you end up with a weird game which is "watch the loading bars." Want your pony to work an 8 hour shift? Watch a loading bar for 30 seconds! Want your pony to enjoy a film? Watch that loading bar go! Feel like taking your pony to university and training in a new career? You guessed it! Loading bar! There actually is no content beyond loading bars to basically everything you do, not even tiny animations. I really cannot stress how devoid of content this game is. Even when you have an entire section of items called "Toys" barring two of them (which are also reused as the only two animation in the social interactions with other ponies) all that happens when you play with them is that the icon that represents them appears in a though bubble above your pony for a few seconds.

For a while I thought maybe the horrendous lack of content was because frankly little girls play this and all they want to do is decorate their home area, but in order to do that in any meaningful way you need money and lots of it and that means ... mmm loading bar based gameplay!

There are five minigames. They are probably the least child friendly and most unforgiving and at the same time unutterably dull mini games I have played in a very long time. With low time limits, no rewards whatsoever for a partial complete and ridiculously unforgiving collision detection on the one that requires dodging (getting hit sets your score back to 0 and makes you restart the level) I know plenty of adults that would struggle with these. Aiming them at small children just seems cruel.

Finally of course the game tops this all off with graphics glitches, instability and one area (The Park) where as far as I can work out the UI is displaced half way across the screen for everyone that runs it, rendering large portions of it inaccessible and causing problems for other gameplay elements that attempt to fit around it.

If you're totally desperate to play with ponies, not only are there better games out there but if you must have this one it's currently free in the Google Play store for you to have on your phone (where at least the UI works).

Oh and an honourable mention goes to the idea of having pony children. Searching across all the versions of this game has not allowed me to find out how to do this. It has, however, allowed me to find myriads of other people nearly all of whom are asking how to do it as well (It is actually a requirement for one scenario). I suspect it is a feature they forgot to add along with the rest of the gameplay.