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In multiplayer sure, and I doubt many people play 20v20 in MP anyway.
As for OP, I would largely rack it up to lack of experience, especially if you arent a dedicated RTS player. Once you have a good amount of experience, setting up matchups and managing your frontline basically becomes a breeze, since you can almost do that stuff instinctively, and it leaves you free to deal with more pressing issues. My personal suggestion if youre new is to avoid having more than 5 control groups, and avoid factions that require lots of intense micro like brettonians or wood elves. Most of your micro should be split between cavalry, artillery/shooting(prioritizing their targets), spells/abilities, and making sure your lords/heroes are doing what they need to. Keep in mind that while this may seem like a lot, you usually have something like 30 seconds to a minute before needing to adjust orders for a shooting unit/hero/cast new spells, so that means that the vast majority of your micro can be split between handling emergencies(like sudden breaks in the line) and microing cav/monsters/shock units.
If you need some more encouragement I've 100% seen Heir slow/pause in some of his campaign battles.