A game for gooners

[女無さん]

I wasn't going to pull for Cantarella, I swear. But her trailer dropped, then shortly after - my pants. After a brief session of regret, it was time for reconsideration and I once again strengthened my resolve to save for the canon wife, Shorekeeper. I knew I needed her because my current healer and buffer - Verina, is a misfit in my party. She's the pancake in my sourdough bakery; the raspberry among melons; the "cinnamon" in "cinnamon buns". I think you get where I'm going with this pastry analogy, sweet as she is I need something with more defined shape.

16000 asterites remaining. 100% exploration done. I had this, she was guaranteed.
Then it happened, I opened the quest menu for 2.2 and out of nowhere they come, straight for me.

The shape is strange. Natural but still very prominent, as to say: "look at us, here we are". When looked at from the front it's like they're heading their separate ways, one to the right, and one to the left. Maybe I should try to reunite them? They leave a naked opening in the middle, big enough for my face to fit, hypothetically.

Me, or rather, some part of me, knew how much happier I would be if she was at least in my party. I imagined the scenario where I'm going through my character collection screen and accidentally scroll past her, but stop to admire the catharsis reminiscent of physics acting upon two plastic bags half filled with water being pushed down a flight of stairs.

50, 60... When I was back to my senses, I was 60 deep. No, not milimeters, PULLS!
My pulls I had saved for Shorekeeper!! They're GONE!! "Well", I thought "I'm in this deep now, might as well see what we get". 70... I close my eyes...

As my retinas readjust to the faint blue light seeping in through my eyelids, I slowly but surely regain focus and the image becomes clear.
I notice I'm being stared at; I stare right back. It's her. I move my gaze upwards and I'm first greeted by a teasing and seductive smile. "You really did it, huh. What a hopeless man" They seem to say. Her eyes as she looks down on me from her elegant position reaffirms the message.

Not a lot of time passes until I realize what I'd done. 5000 asterites.
Without thinking much I go to her trial, I hadn't seen her gameplay yet, nor did I really understand what her kit was so I was curious to see what I had at my disposal. After some testing I blew a sigh of relief when I saw that her gameplay is quite fun and she fits nicely into teams which Verina previously tainted with her presence. Thank god.

Luck is on my side twice, because with the Steam release I can hopefully sell my CS:GO skins and still guarantee Shorekeeper. I guess the moral of the story is: I trusted my gooning instincts, and I won. I will never doubt myself ever again.

[Faiyez]

What's a gooner? How do you goon?

[女無さん]

Originally posted by Faiyez:

What's a gooner? How do you goon?

I think the current proper definition of gooning is when a man deliberately appreciates the erogenous assets of a woman's body without giving into consideration that it could be a man. Though I'm not sharp on the GenZ lingo, so forgive me if I'm mistaken. A gooner would then be a person who engages in this activity.

[Fistraiser]

Originally posted by Faiyez:

What's a gooner? How do you goon?

Gooning is the the word they came up with to differentiate the groups of mostly men who fantasise and masturbate over anime characters and the ones who do the same but over video game characters.
Also if you see gooning talk over underage characters in games i suggest reporting the posts to steam admins or the police as they could be future paedos.

[WanderingArtist]

Cantarella did 180 with her character and now she's trad wife

[Chudimir Lenin]

Beautiful post, OP.

[Spade09]

Originally posted by Fistraiser:

Originally posted by Faiyez:

What's a gooner? How do you goon?

Gooning is the the word they came up with to differentiate the groups of mostly men who fantasise and masturbate over anime characters and the ones who do the same but over video game characters.
Also if you see gooning talk over underage characters in games i suggest reporting the posts to steam admins or the police as they could be future paedos.

I think it's the same as what the feminist tried to do during bayonetta 2010 or something because they said that "it oversexualize, objectify women ,just an attraction for males to gaze and lure men to buy the game" and the funny thing is it's a woman who designed bayonetta. They tried to cancel the game but gamergate was created so the rest is history and right now they created a word for it gooners.

[SiapaH]

check other gacha game like azure lane or other and came back here again bruh

[Taka]

Originally posted by Fistraiser:

Originally posted by Faiyez:

What's a gooner? How do you goon?

Gooning is the the word they came up with to differentiate the groups of mostly men who fantasise and masturbate over anime characters and the ones who do the same but over video game characters.
Also if you see gooning talk over underage characters in games i suggest reporting the posts to steam admins or the police as they could be future paedos.

yes, report them to the police, its always good to waste their resources and time.

[女無さん]

Originally posted by SiapaH:

check other gacha game like azure lane or other and came back here again bruh

Did you... did you READ my post, bruh?! Is this the nefarious GenZ media literacy at display?

[Chudimir Lenin]

Originally posted by 女無さん:

Originally posted by SiapaH:

check other gacha game like azure lane or other and came back here again bruh

Did you... did you READ my post, bruh?! Is this the nefarious GenZ media literacy at display?

BRUH DEAD ASS COS IM TWEAKING XDDDDDDDDDDDD

[cybik]

I got R3 in less than 200 pulls.

I just wanted a Zani guarantee back.

[Turtle / Eli]

Cantarella is a good match with Camellya when setting up a team

[女無さん]

Wow, Imagine if I had pulled her for a particularity in the design of her nether regions. I'd have looked pretty stupid right now.

[Арбель]

I love spending money on the characters whose designs changes by CN feminists sitting on the other side of the globe who influence the rest of the game servers

[女無さん]

Originally posted by Arbel:

I love spending money on the characters whose designs are changes by CN feminists sitting on the other side of the globe who influence the rest of the game servers

If they're taking money from global I think it's perfectly fair to request them to separate the two regions so we don't have to put up with things like this. It was OK until a bunch of lunatics reported it and now they have to take it away. When will this happen again? I highly doubt they will stop if it worked the 1st time.

In this sense maybe the 16+ rating is a future protection? Who knows, I wish they told us.