Play the old Boring Man games here!

[Spasman]

Want to experience the legend of Somewhere Land's most mysterious USC soldier? Now you can.

I've compiled each and every significant old Boring Man game and have uploaded them for history purposes. I made them in high school when I was about 15 years old, so they are very badly made, have a lot of edgy, offensive humor. But theres lore peppered here and there that you might find interesting.

If you're unaware of the history of Boring Man, or want to see some screenshots, you can read up on it here.[imgur.com]
I also played a few of them on my YouTube channel.

!! WARNING !!

These games were made by an immature 14 year old kid. There's swearing, derogatory terms (mostly homophobia), and I actually recall a tad bit of racism. If these sort of things make you upset, I don't recommend playing these. I chose not the go through these games and remove it any offensive material, because then I'd be lying to you as much as I'd be lying to myself whether I did or did not do these things. I'm also lazy.

Download (28.9MB)[spasmangames.com]

Help!! It doesn't launch or it crashed

I whole heartedly refuse to provide tech support for these games. They are over a decade old and I don't remember anything about them. I compiled all of them through Game Maker 7 and ran each one on Windows 7 and they all launched fine, so anything beyond that you're on your own.

Only reliable solution is that your computer OS is too new, and if you have an older computer around, try it on that. Be careful not to run these games multiple times if they're not starting up, because their processes might hang in task manager.

What are the controls?

Hell if I know. Most of the games have a stock GM help window if you press F1. Those will usually have the controls in them.

I can't get past this really hard part!! These games are bad!!

quite literally, get good

No, I know they're bad, and if you can't beat a certain part then it's probably not just you. Maybe somebody has a strategy below.

Can I do a lets play with these? (And monetize)

You're a twisted fucking psychopath to even go on such a miserable venture, but go right ahead.

Which order do I play them in?

I suggest release order. It goes like this:

Boring Man 1 - Insanity Assault (2005)
Boring Man 2 - The Revenge of The Man (2005)
Boring Man 3D - New Worlds (2006)
Boring Man 4 - The Curse of the Toilet Seat of Misery (2007)
Boring Man 5 (2007)
Boring Man 1 - Remastered (2008)
Boring Man 6 - A Stickman's Glory (Unfinished, 2008)

I suggest this because you can witness my slow, but steady improvement with Game Maker in the course of a few years.

Whats the deal with Boring Man 6?

Boring Man 6 was never completed and not part of the canon. BM6 has never been uploaded to the public before, it is its first time on the internet. Once you get to the city in the desert area, the game stops there. I don't remember the controls and I don't think the game tells you so you'll have to test things out on your own.

The game was sort of free roam-ish. You could go to the gun store and buy weapons with money you earn, go on a killing spree in the city and get yourself in trouble with the police. There were also little side quests you could find out in Boring Man Fields or whatever. You also leveled up which increased your max health and damage or whatever. There were also skills you can find, such as using the grapple hook or dual wielding weapons.

If you die, you respawn at a respawn chamber thingy, and your screen goes white for about 10 seconds. Its super annoying so try not to die.

Theres a console with some commands/cheats if you press F1 on your keyboard. You can't get every weapon in the game playing it normally, so I suggest playing around with it. The commands are as follows:

bm_mesg_test - Makes Boring Man say "FU"
bm_money - Give yourself $1,000,000
bm_grenades - Give yourself 10 grenades.
bm_create_police - Spawns a cop at your mouse cursor.
bm_create_civilian - Spawns a civilian at your mouse cursor.
bm_create_soldier - Spawns a USC soldier at your mouse cursor.
bm_create_cannibal - Spawns a Canadian Cannibal enemy at your cursor.
bm_create_hopper - Spawns a Hopper enemy at your cursor.
bm_create_bluesoldier - Spawns a Blue Soldier enemy at your cursor.
bm_create_purple - Spawns a Purple enemy at your cursor.
bm_weap_rand - Spawns a random weapon drop at your cursor.
bm_weap_pistol - Spawns a Pistol at your cursor.
bm_weap_smg - Spawns an SMG at your cursor.
bm_weap_shotgun - Spawns a Shotgun at your cursor.
bm_weap_rocket - Spawns a Rocket Launcher at your cursor.
bm_weap_sniper - Spawns a Sniper Rifle at your cursor.
bm_weap_laser - Spawns a Muleslapper Laser at your cursor.
bm_weap_minigun - Spawns a Minigun at your cursor.
bm_weap_assault - Spawns an Assault Rifle at your cursor.
bm_god_on / bm_god_off - Toggles God Mode on and off.
bm_level_up - Levels up Boring Man
bm_next_area - Goes to the next area (as if you went offscreen to the right)
bm_prev_area - Goes to the next area (as if you went offscreen to the left)
bm_kill - Kills Boring Man.
bm_health - Restores Boring Man's health to full.
bm_skill_all - Gives you all skills.
bm_skill_flashlight - Gives Boring Man the flash light skill.
bm_skill_double_jump - Gives Boring Man the double jump skill.
bm_skill_wall_jump - Gives Boring Man the wall jump skill.
bm_skill_dual - Gives Boring Man the dual weapons skill.
bm_skill_ninja_rope - Gives Boring Man the grapple hook skill.
bm_skill_area_restart - Restarts the current area
bm_piss - Makes Boring Man pee.

Where does OTSC fit in all of this?

I can give you a hint that OTSC takes place somewhere around a year after Boring Man 5.

Anyhow, feel free to comment on this crap below. This is super humiliatin' so go easy on me.

[fruitgish]

Source codes, please?

[76561198154186040]

Thanks spasman

[Brianag010]

Is it wrong that I actually want to play these games?

[Birds]

Oh man. Someone should speedrun these haha.

[Abaddon]

Originally posted by Brennanber:

Oh man. Someone should speedrun these haha.

I will

[Abaddon]

MY HAPPINESS CAN'T BE IMAGINED :DDD

[Jokobama]

Thank you soooo ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO PLAY THESE!!!

[Master_Sehrix]

Just wanna say, if i can run BM 1 insanity assault on this laptop, anyone should be able to run it, and this is a windows 10 OS XD

[bobes sponja]

Don't worry, I'm one of those weird people that like morbid humor.

Here's a rather morbid one:
''My father was there at 9/11.... he was on the plane that crashed into the building.... he phoned me just before the impact.... his last words were.... ALLAHU AKHBAR''

[Master_Sehrix]

Originally posted by ƑαᴎcчØ𝔠тσρυઽ:

Don't worry, I'm one of those weird people that like morbid humor.

Here's a rather morbid one:
''My father was there at 9/11.... he was on the plane that crashed into the building.... he phoned me just before the impact.... his last words were.... ALLAHU AKHBAR''

Did it just so happen that your father was expecting 40 virgins and was instead greeted by a 40 year old virgin? And if so, I wonder if he was a giver or reciever? XD

[Lucky Digit]

They Are hard but good and bad, either way you have done a job well Stupid. :P

[Irru]

Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!

[Dancefloor Degrader]

So, does boring man 6 take place after the events of OTSC?

[Coquin]

The blood in BM 3D is so bad. Yet I enjoyed it so much that it became a part of my daily routine after playing the BM we love so much today. Whenever I get my skull beat in by a plank, I think of the player's character model. I think of the character model, and I dream...

[SoyMuyRadiante]

Mmmm not bad at all ;v