Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

[Y'shtola Rhul Lv1 Coffee Drinker]

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.

As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.

Yawn.

Chess has ♥♥♥♥♥♥ class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do ♥♥♥♥. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.

The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.

Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.

3 out of 10.

[groundhog]

What the mind-blowing ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ are you talking about? You are just hopeless stoner and spaced weirdo :D

[Nova]

Send this to FIDE!

[≓Sean Colombo≒]

I think this was on reddit or something. It is pretty hilarious :) anyone know the exact source?

Interestingly, a bunch of people are also posting this as "reviews" for the game.

It kinda sucks when people post it as a negative review though because I worked really hard on the game & the joke is just as funny if you use it in a way that doesn't ding our Steam rating. :-/

[Y'shtola Rhul Lv1 Coffee Drinker]

yes, it's from reddit (or at least that's where i copied it from)

[≓Sean Colombo≒]

Originally posted by yeul:

yes, it's from reddit (or at least that's where i copied it from)

Thanks for the info :)

[Tapasvi]

lol :D

[Tomaattisilmämies]

bobo ei suosittele maistuu paskalle eikä maistu kinkku ananas kebab pitszalle

[Tomaattisilmämies]

siis maistuu pas$ka

[ice]

Just cuz you aren't good at the game doesn't make the game bad m8. Kasparov would school ya.

[🎃MaximusBlastalot🎃]

Only scrubs like chess becus of the overpowered pieces, the real tactics player will prefer something more balanced like checkers or tic tac toe.

[Krushit]

I'm really horrible, but I'm hoping to learn the game through this...

[Optics.bih.com]

Chess came first before any RPG game did. RPG games are worthless bad-story driven games with no straigy and it was made by monkeys. Chess is better.

[BigGarlic-805]

nailed it

[Zilentis]

i dont know, the game has extreme balance, everyone can kill everyone the queen is op (ikr SJW scum) the textures are minimilistic not to mention a artstyle that never faults or fails on its themes, the voice acting sucks since its all people going "ooooo" "ugh" "good one" "checkmate" but it has a strong and vibrant community that is still alive and thriving

[꧁ღ༺ RENA ༻ღ꧂]

Stop the hatespeach and realise that chess is so complex and amazing. Maybe you dont understand this and that is why you hate it.

If you begin with chess fulled you would get an other opinion.