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Yes. I had the event myself in game and chose to screw the dude and that's because I went out of my way to do so. The event only appears in the first place if you want it to and even then you can back out.
As for dudes screwing your wife. Again. You can choose to let them. There are even events where you go out of your way to get people to do the deed with her for you. If you choose them.
And that's all it is really. These things, along with a myriad of even more messed up things are all in the game but you have to CHOOSE to do them/let them happen. There are a whole host of ways around problems in this game.
You have to compliment that npc 3 times and in general be a good guy, but it's almost impossible to not do this because compliment him will boost his stats, and the compliment are just regular compliments no hint of romantic inclines (at least in chinese).
The interesting part is the choices that follow, which is this npc will want to sleep with you, at this point you can say 1) can't betray my wife 2) I though we are just bros 3) I forgot something like it's not time yet.
choice 1) and 3) leads to nothing, but 2) which is probably what most straight men will pick, will trigger the following event of him wanting to sleep with your wife. Still you can 1) agree and it's threesome 2) reject.
I think dev team is absolutely right that you can reject all the way through and nothing will happen, but I can also understand straight dudes being mad that they already said they are straight and somehow this guy wants to sleep with your wife instead. But overall I really don't think this is that big of an issue to give a negative review of the game