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After a few minutes of fiddling, I found out that limiting the FPS to 30 solves the problem. So just limit the FPS to 30 in the options, then set it back once you're done.
Still an aggravating bug, though nowhere near as aggravating as the endlessly spinning taxis that won't let you escape.
I'm glad you got it solved, but when I said "literally 2 seconds" I was not exaggerating.