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Given how many things you've tried I'm really interested in knowing what operating systems you both are on. Is this a windows to mac problem? Or a mac to mac problem? Do you both live in apartment complexes or dorms with double-NATs? I'm really stumped here.
DO get a refund though if you still can! There is no point in paying for a game which turns out to be a brick instead. Nobody's gonna judge you for being short on money, hoo boy do I feel ya there.
Okay from our conversation, it appears that if you use VPNs like Evolve or Hamachi, the Networking DEVICE corresponding to them may still stay turned on even if you're not using the service! This may be tricking Unity into trying to host/join online games using Hamachi or Evolve, even though you're not hooked into a tunnel with a friend.
Semi-related, if you try to host on LAN using two simultaneous VPNs, that does not appear to work. I'm not sure whether that problem is on the hosting end or the joining end. Either way, we did not build our networking to support multiple simultaneous VPNs.
So, what is the takeaway advice for folks who have VPNs who are having troubles?
1. If you want to host or join online, make sure all your VPNs are completely off. This means that the networking device corresponding to the VPN must also be disabled. Frequently, exiting Hamachi or Evolve from your corner taskbar will finish the job.
2. If you want to host or join on LAN, only have one VPN enabled if you're doing the game over a tunnel.
Hope that helps!