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I can't really speak to why this would be.
One person's experience of a title may be fun, exciting, clearly relatable to their understanding of the world and the paths they've followed in life, while to another it may be a confusing, frustrating mess. To still another it may be some mashed blend of the two extremes.
With some games, additional playthroughs provide more insight and reveal layers to the story they contain. Perhaps Obduciton is such a game for you and your wife.
As you said, a game is a personal experience. We hope, if you do play again, that you find the enjoyment you were seeking.
The main puzzles, (world trees) were also obvious, getting from point A to B was the slow part. For me copious note taking, (objects and obstacles found and where) were a major help, (along with taking breaks when the frustration level got high) I think it allowed for the cold eye approach, (I often solve a puzzle at night while in bed, spatial ones at least).
Up till the update, (late 2018/early 2019) I only had 1 real issue, the tower/rotating floor maze puzzle. Getting to said puzzle was tough but with empirical deduction, many pages of a legal sized notepad the trial and error method and well over 8 hrs of work, I made it to the tower.
The rotating floor maze puzzle was just mean, if there were any discoverable clues to its workings I didn't find them and if they did exist I didn't recognize them as such. I did seek help. My take on this puzzle is that you're meant to fail, but once you become aware of the scam the bloody thing is simple.
After the 2018/19 update they messed up a later, (critical Maray puzzle) horribly and gave the excuse "we couldn't figure out how to make the clue appear the way it had before the update so we took it out of the game. There's another clue you can follow to get you to the next area. Wicked lame.
If you lean toward masochism you might try "The Witness"
Nowadays, of course, somebody will have posted a Youtube video on that one and all the rest as well, but while we weren't aware of that phenomenon at the time we would have been reluctant to use that kind of help anyway. We're pretty old-school.
I made it to, I think the base of the mountain and began moving up before giving up.
My issue was, if you set a solve pattern for a group of puzzles, no matter how large or convoluted they become the pattern remains the same.
The game changed the solving pattern of some of the puzzles, (not sure if they began at the sound puzzles) or just after, its been a couple years since I played. I was getting into the game big time, they were fun puzzles and then I crashed.