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We will be eating good. :P
Will your account woke?
Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me.
No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!
Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
What did the calculator say to the math student? You can count on me.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because it lifts their spirits.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion!
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in-vest-igator.
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
“Bison!”
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?
A polar bear.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I-scream!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school!
How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant!
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?