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Here's the thing, difficulty is more about map placement than the stated difficulty. That's an old design flaw. The factions you picked are going to tend to have more craziness, and in this game, it spirals.
But with good diplomacy, as you have, I'd recommend assessing your defenses. Do all of your provinces have forts? Do you have fortifications build in your cities? Are you utilizing look out posts for free garrison? Enemies look for weaknesses and not having defensive infrastructure will make factions pounce on you. At least until you reach an edge of a map - even then, you have to deal with sporadic raiders.
So reassess your defense. If you have around 20 troops per settlement, more in contested areas, the likelihood of doom stacks showing up goes down, and your ability to respond if they do goes up.
Further, I'd recommend just playing with campaign settings to remove enemy advantage if it keeps beating you down. You can consider it a leveling of the playing field, or you can consider it giving yourself the space to master the game before playing with campaign settings turned off or even up in difficulty.
To Sun up my last post, build forts, build lookout posts, consider transitioning to a defensive game in the times you expect trouble. Ar 40 turns almost 1/3 of factions will be destroyed, it's a race to survival until about turn 80 when things will (often) be more stable.
This, specifically is where I'd identify your problem. Second stack is a huge economy drain. Fortresses are 50% upkeep. And you had a large area to defend. 3 provinces is roughly 9 cities, 5 soldiers per fortress would be 45 soldiers, but would cost you half of the price of 2 full stacks. Or 3-5 troops every fort, a stack of 10-12 who can move between provinces for defense utilizing well placed look-out posts. There are many solutions, but this is early in the game to be planning to steamroll before you've gotten very comfortable
Edit: to clarify, I might try instead to come to peace after securing a second province until it's very well developed. Each settlement teir is a significant defensive advantage, with more upkeep free & low-admin burden troops. And fortresses with the best of my teir 1-2 troops mostly, and maybe some teir 3's. If someone still tries to invade, I'd rally my forces and try to bate ambushes around my outlook posts or with a second "bait" general. You can "farm" invading armies with this method, and while it's a form of cheese...well, my man, think like a 12th century warlord!!
My opinion, Alishaya was great. Once I seized the Island, I could expand wherever I wanted, and the canaanite native troops are great all purpose troops. I loved conquering Ugarit, consolidating upper Canaan, and then taking the hittite throne.
The Assyrian main faction was tough. Babylon also requires you to play differently at first, not necessarily concluding your initial war like usual, instead I found it more useful to take a single city, sue for peace after killing higher small stacks, then consolidating south around Uruk before returning, later to the war. With that in mind, Babylon is pretty overpower with Hammurabi laws if you know how to finesse the opening challenge. After a couple of times playing very diplomatically, my third and best playthrough I was confident enough to smash the starting enemy and then consolidate around Uruk, but it involved luck as well as considerable experience
This makes me want to start up a new campaign just thinking about it. I hope you stick through the initial learning curve, because it's pretty fun once you get a campaign rolling
Once you get past the troublesome spot, you'll see how much potential there is in province specialization. While for now I'd recommend you stick to a settlement fortification, a workforce/upkeep reduction building/a resource building as your basic settlement outline, this is just specific to your set of problems and also leaves room for alteration as your needs or wants see fit.
For outposts, I'd think of a fortress, a outlook post (many disagree) and then whatever will contribute most to your needs in the third slot. Temples with useful gods are always a good one, warrior outposts can generate very powerful (and economy destroying) units that could potentially make those massive invasions less of a pain.
Much as NoSoyLeon explains. :)
It's meh difficulty, reeeaaallly hard in early game, then cake walk, if you survive first 50 turn you won already. There's harder than legendary. ;)
Hanigalbat is also a hard start because Assyria will fall apart quickly and get invaded from all sides. Plus the twin rivers form a highway for stacks to run all over Mesopotamia.
Try Agamemnon or Irsu to start with. Trade with everyone you're not planning to invade. If you do get dogpiled, vassalise yourself to someone more powerful.
Argamemnon war a nice campaigne for me, then Babylon.
Now I managed to survive with Tausret, but it wasn't easy for me (all normal difficulty).
Don't give up hope, you will have fun with the game.
I win my campaigns on Leg/default customs/Iron man/no flags+range+markers etc. With any faction whether major or minor, plus, I always go to Ultimate Victories and achievments.
Just learn to be humble and accept that you are not good enough for the game at this moment, and, practise. TW was and is not a game for common mortals.
If I can reach this level so can anyone else. Just practice and practice and practice.