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and dislike
and want to eliminate
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenophobia
And rightfully so! If you allow the Xeno to integrate into your society without properly subjugating them, they will assert Xenophile Ethics Pressure to all pops on the planet they inhabit, and try to turn your own people against you.
And it's never enough with the Xeno. You stop treating one species as lifestock, and soon it will demand you treat every species in the universe as if they were your equals, instead of properly exploiting their labor through slavery.
Xenophobia is entirely rational and justified within the game mechanics of Stellaris.
But in the English language, an "anti-semite" is functionally the same as an "Islamophobe" - it is a person with a bigotry towards persons of a specific religious faith. A "misogynist" (Greek for "hater-of-women") exhibits the same characteristics as a "homophobe." The "-phobe" is grafted onto the stem more out of euphonics than a clinical description of the bigot's state of mind. A "homophobe" is not literally afraid of "sameness." "Islamo" isn't even a Greek term, but "Islamophobic" works better than trying to graft the vowels together in "anti-Islamic."
Anyways, you don't need to take my word for it. It's literally in the dictionary: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/xenophobia
Cambridge has it as: "showing an EXTREME DISLIKE or fear of people from foreign countries:"
So a "xenophobe" isn't fearful in the way that an "agoraphobe" is afraid of open spaces (not marketplaces). He's fearful in a bigoted way that encompasses hatred and may or may not be an expression of fear.
I don't bow to appeals to authority of men. Words have meanings. Revising those meanings can be and is used to shift and obfuscate narratives and history, aside from the blatant manipulation of it.
Phobos, where the English word phobia directly comes from, does not mean hatred or extreme dislike. Is hatred and extreme dislike of God the begging of wisdom? cf. Proverbs 9:10 (LXX)
The Perseus Digital Library at Tufts University maintains a free searchable codex of Greek texts. One of the nice things about Ancient Greek is you don't have to worry about the nuances of contemporary usage and centuries worth of codices are available to refer you to every known instance of its ancient usage.
I'm sorry you don't find English-language dictionaries to be compelling reference sources for English-speakers about the meaning of English words. However, in an instance like this where people are using a word in its conventional sense, it's helpful to be aware of their existence. "Xenophobic" does not necessarily mean "afraid of strangers" in the English language. It means fearful or hateful towards the alien (in either a terrestrial or a fantastic sense).
The question presented here is why the devs are using a word conventionally instead of in a much more limited sense. And the perfectly reasonable reason for their usage is that it's the way normal people using the English language speak.
I have given examples of the word being discussed in context. That doesn't mean I don't know what someone is trying to say when they use it in a common vernacular way.
The OP is also not wrong in his interpretation of phobia.
There is a simple remedy for this conundrum.
Admittedly, if you reject the authority of knowledge, it can mean whatever you want it to mean. But then, when you speak nobody will understand what you mean, because you do not mean what you are saying. What you say means what people hear. And people will take your meaning to be the same as the normal usage unless or until you give them clear reason to understand otherwise.
You know what else was in full swing circa 1880? Critical revisions of the Bible by a plethora of "scholars" with a heightened knowledge of Greek who knew exactly what phobia meant.
Stellaris has a thing called Buzzword Standardisation (and Compliance Training - original version, per eladrin.) Reminds me of that.
When ignorance is bliss, every day is the Rapture. Party on, dude.
Of course, enslaving and selling them to countries with a workforce deficit is more efficient but once again, egalitarian.