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I think the AI has gotten smarter lately too, so they are putting up a much stronger fight in recent patches, to the point where I have to scale back the difficulty level to have a good game. There's no shame in going easier or restarting if it helps you enjoy the game. Grand Admiral isn't for everyone.
Find a couple good choke-points and defend them well. Be prepared to surrender a system in the early game. Focus on tech and good relations. Fine-tune your economy. Don't over-expand. Find a play style with an empire design that works for your play style, that you enjoy.
And if you find yourself rage-quitting, go play something else for a while.
Option 2: Focus diplomacy and join/create a Federation. The AI will build all of the ships you could ever need to defend yourself, while you contribute next to nothing.
That way you start at the same point as the AI but the Ai still has the boni to help them not completely crumble by mid-game.
I've generally found that envoys (with the target empire), maybe a defensive treaty (with another empire), a well-prepared starbase and a reasonable fleet docked there can hold off invaders.
I have gotten rushed in a game or two. At least once, I think it was due to my neighbor buying a fleet from the Scrappers. Had a funny name and was too large.