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If you want to play this game peacefully you have to accept that you will not always get what you want and that your empire will be limited by the borders of your neighbours. At least until you have something valuable enough to them to trade for planets and or settlement rights.
Afterwards, the populace will hate you and most likely join a faction calling for there independence or to be returned to there empire. It could take years to boost a planets happiness to a manageble way. Make sure to have a ton of influence handy to spend on suppressing the faction, rearranging sectors so that you can edit the planets surface to better appease them(I wouldnt trust the AI for this), and for the propoganda edict to boost it further, and a Govenor for that small added benefit.
No it's not, in my first game I owned around half the map which was 800 stars, didn't ever declare war.
And how the hell you had influence points without declare rivalry? How to get influence making allies instead of war?
When you do get hemmed in as a peaceful race, you switch to infrastructure and research mode. Out tech everyone else, defend your borders and work on alliances/federations.
I am working in expansion only, not my fault there is a zilion empires near me and I cant go in all directions at the same time.
If there are a zilion empires next to you than chances are you didn't pick the right settings for the way you want to play the game. If you want more space pick a larger galaxy with less empires. If you want to play peaceful than you have to accept the rules and that another empires colony is worth more than you junk of metal orbiting a planet near by. You cannot "peacefully" force your way into another empires borders. That's not how it works in the real world and it's not how it works in Stellaris.
Another option is to use diplomacy to get settlement rights or to simply buy a planet, but you have usually have to pay a lot for that.
Tip - Put your outposts into sectors when you have more than 1 colony and they cost you no influence points to maintain.