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Start building a fleet then. A huge army wont do much good. I don't think you hardly ever need more than 20 soldiers
Might be a better idea to try again without fighting three strong empires ;)
But, if you do decide to stick it out good luck!
You should make use of what there is though. When you look at an empire you can see all of the modifiers that change their opinion.
The AI is not likely to fight with you unless you are in a fedation or they are your vassal. Or you had a defensive pact and someone declared war on you. If this happens, there is a button on your fleet that will tell allies to follow you. But it is just a sugestion, it wont force the AI to follow you.
Your best bet is just making your own empire strong enough to fight whatever you want, and to avoid wars with alliances unless you are MUCH stronger.
Some basic tips might be kenetics instead of lazers and to always keep your spaceports upgraded and your fleet size at the cap.
Would need more detail of your empire to give better advice
Materialist hates spiritualist
xenophobe hates everyone
You should honestly start a new game and try to not get into that situation
You are more than likely going to spend a lot of time trying to do something you cannot, that it does not sound like you would enjoy
Focus more on the early game and staying at fleet cap. Keep an eye on the opinion rating of other empires
Don't expect to get friendly AI ot help you in wars. It can happen, but don't expect it