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The short answer is don't use frontier outposts in the early game unless absolutely necessary for securing valuable resources. Even then try to colonize a planet in the area so you can dismantle the outpost. Colonies grow empire borders as well, rendering most frontier outposts as only temporarily useful. There are exceptions, but try not to expand in those directions if you can avoid it. Its worth having disjointed borders to keep influence production steady.
Anything with influence upkeep should be very carefully considered, as it will really tank your influence. There are VERY few ways to gain more, so if you eat up you income, it's just gone until you chose to stop doing whatever.
I rarely use outposts myself. It's just not generally worth the price. It's useful to grab some territory temporarily, but you want to replace them with a colony, then dismantle them ASAP. Otherwise use them for absolutely vital resources or where you must prevent someone else from grabbing something. Otherwise makes absolutely certain you must do so and can't do without. Even one outpost is very costly.
For early game though, don't put down more than 1 until you are bringing in respectable influence from rivalries, factions, and tech.
In the early-mid game, when you start getting into wars, there is something you can do about that, provided you're not completely xenophobic. If you're fine with having more than one race in your empire, go to war with someone weak that has a different planet type than you, and preferrably good traits. Then, annex at least one planet and build colony ships from that planet.
You will then be able to colonize about half of those red worlds you could not colonize before, and then you can destroy more outposts. Ideally you want to be able to colonize every planet type with one specie or another.
Also, if you have good relations and at least one Gaia planet, get some migration treaties going with races that setting other planet types, then use those to settle.
You can also eventually just genetically mod your species to live in other places. That works too, although it takes a bit. That's what I'm doing now as a Hive Mind race, since I don't have the other options. Took a while, but I can now spread anywhere I want.