Marvel Rivals: A Masterclass in Mediocrity (and copying from Overwatch)

[Booyah]

Alright, folks, gather around. It’s time for a little education. I know, I know—some of you might not be ready for this. You’re probably still basking in the glow of Marvel Rivals’ flashy trailers and the dopamine hit of seeing your favorite superheroes on screen. But let’s be real here: Marvel Rivals is, objectively speaking, a bad game. And before you start typing furiously in the comments, hear me out. I’m not here to insult anyone (though I can’t promise I won’t be a little condescending—it’s just who I am). I’m here to enlighten you. Because, let’s face it, someone has to.

First, let’s talk about the gameplay. Or should I say, the lack of gameplay. Marvel Rivals is, at its core, a shallow attempt at cashing in on the live-service model. It’s a hero shooter, sure, but it’s one that feels like it was cobbled together by a team that read a Wikipedia summary of what makes a good hero shooter and called it a day. The mechanics are uninspired, the abilities are derivative, and the balance is… well, let’s just say it’s about as balanced as a one-legged stool. But hey, I’m sure some of you enjoy the thrill of pressing the same three buttons over and over again while your screen fills with particle effects. Congratulations, you’ve found your game.

And don’t even get me started on the monetization. Oh, wait, I’m already started. Marvel Rivals is a textbook example of how to squeeze every last penny out of your player base without actually delivering a product worth paying for. The battle pass is a grindfest, the cosmetics are overpriced, and the game is clearly designed to exploit FOMO (that’s “fear of missing out” for those of you who aren’t as well-versed in gaming industry tactics as I am). But sure, keep telling yourself that spending $20 on a recolor of Spider-Man’s suit is a good use of your money. I’m sure the executives at Marvel are very grateful for your contribution.

Now, let’s talk about the story. Or, more accurately, the lack thereof. Marvel Rivals doesn’t even try to justify its existence with a compelling narrative. It’s just a bunch of heroes and villains thrown together in a generic arena because… reasons? I guess? I mean, I get it—writing is hard, and coming up with a coherent plot that ties all these characters together would require actual effort. But come on, is it too much to ask for a little world-building? A little context? Or are we just supposed to accept that Doctor Doom and Captain America are fighting because… well, because the game needs them to?

And let’s not forget the technical issues. The performance is inconsistent, the matchmaking is a mess, and the netcode is about as reliable as a paper umbrella in a hurricane. But hey, I’m sure some of you are perfectly content with rubberbanding across the map or getting disconnected mid-match. After all, who needs a smooth, stable gaming experience when you can have the thrill of wondering whether your next match will even load?

Look, I get it. Some of you are die-hard Marvel fans, and the idea of playing as your favorite characters is enough to blind you to the game’s glaring flaws. And that’s fine. Enjoy what you enjoy. But let’s not pretend that Marvel Rivals is anything more than a cash grab dressed up in spandex. It’s a game that prioritizes style over substance, profit over polish, and hype over heart. And if you can’t see that, well… maybe you’re not as discerning as I am. But hey, that’s why I’m here—to help you see the light.

So, go ahead. Keep playing Marvel Rivals. Keep defending it. Keep spending your hard-earned money on it. But just know that while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, playing games that actually respect my time, intelligence, and wallet. Because, unlike some people, I know the difference between a good game and a bad one. And Marvel Rivals? It’s definitely the latter.

You’re welcome.

[zopf76 ☭]

A cheap and quickly cobbled together Cash cow that is supposed to Appeal and bring in loads of Money- what do you expect ?!

[Booyah]

Originally posted by zopf76 ☭:

A cheap and quickly cobbled together Cash cow that is supposed to Appeal and bring in loads of Money- what do you expect ?! :lunar2019grinningpig:

I expected a cheap and quickly cobbled together cash cow meant to milk players for money. I'm not surprised; just disgusted and a little confused, but at this point, I should really expect it from the gaming community at large.

[Fartin' Futa King]

92.43% AI GPT*, LMAO

[Luthir]

... i'm curious whats your game that is an A in hero shooters?

[Booyah]

Originally posted by zopf76 ☭:

Originally posted by 🎀Booyah🎀:

But hey, that’s why I’m here—to help you see the light.

...have Fun with this, you will see/understand what i mean - just wait... :lunar2019grinningpig:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Trust me, I'm well aware of the Dunning Kruger affect. You see it constantly when you're discussing video games online, especially on Reddit. It's everywhere.

[Booyah]

Originally posted by Fartin' Futa King:

92.43% AI GPT*, LMAO

Okay I mean, the game is rough, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it was AI generated. Clearly there is human intent behind it, it's just not very good intent.

But that's what humans are good for, right?

[zopf76 ☭]

Originally posted by 🎀Booyah🎀:

Trust me, I'm well aware of the Dunning Kruger affect. You see it constantly when you're discussing video games online, especially on Reddit. It's everywhere.

[HakeemP]

I and hundreds of thousands of others like playing it and have fun while playing it so I really don't care. Cool AI generated paragraph though

[zopf76 ☭]

This Thing is also full of Player retention psychology.

[Booyah]

Originally posted by HakeemP:

I and hundreds of thousands of others like playing it and have fun while playing it so I really don't care. Cool AI generated paragraph though

No, I know you are, and I already addressed why in my paragraphs that you assumed were AI and didn't read.

[Arc]

hes right u know

[Booyah]

Originally posted by zopf76 ☭:

This Thing is also full of Player retention psychology. :lunar2019laughingpig:

They certainly know what they're doing to retain players; that's the FOMO philosphy. a lot of gamers don't realize that basically every developer is employing these tactics. It should be illegal but the players are too distracted by the pretty shiny things to actually take a stand against it.

[IuSuShy]

so what game is a good hero shooter??

[HakeemP]

"But hey, I’m sure some of you enjoy the thrill of pressing the same three buttons over and over again while your screen fills with particle effects. Congratulations, you’ve found your game." Is this a bad thing? It's a free-to-play game, who cares if it's simple?

[Fartin' Futa King]

Originally posted by 🎀Booyah🎀:

Originally posted by zopf76 ☭:

This Thing is also full of Player retention psychology. :lunar2019laughingpig:

They certainly know what they're doing to retain players; that's the FOMO philosphy. a lot of gamers don't realize that basically every developer is employing these tactics. It should be illegal but the players are too distracted by the pretty shiny things to actually take a stand against it.

What should be illegal exactly?