The dumbest types of players

[Kuranes]

After countless hours playing Marvel Rivals...

I’m finally ready to drop my list of the dumbest types of players I’ve come across in-game:

The guy who loses the portal

You know the one. That Doctor Strange who, at the start of the match, types in chat, “I’m making a portal,” making everyone wait—just to follow up with “I lost the portal.” Meanwhile, the other team has already captured the objective and is ahead. There's also the deluxe edition of this guy who does the same thing at a critical moment when there’s one minute left and completely screws up.

THAT Jeff

Everyone has suffered through THAT Jeff—the one who finishes the match with 3,000 healing done, walks right past you without healing, wastes time trying to solo the enemy tank, and just when you’re about to use your ultimate, eats you with his ability and ruins it. But of course, he doesn’t manage to kill a single enemy he swallowed either. THAT Jeff.

Your (not so) friendly neighborhood Spiderman

That player who insists on picking Spiderman because he’s their favorite superhero, while literally the entire team (and sometimes even the enemy team) is begging them to switch because they’re doing absolutely nothing. Then, when the match ends with terrible stats, they type “healer diff” at the supports—who, by the way, have 30,000 healing and the healing & assist medals.

The one who stops healing mid-game

Ever been in a super intense moment of the match, only to suddenly stop getting heals and watch your whole team die? You hit tab, and surprise! Your healer has switched to DPS. Not only do they force another player to take over the role unexpectedly, but the entire team has to guess the switch because they don’t even bother to say anything.

The “If I don’t get kills, I’ll switch” guy

The DPS player who picks a hero and types in chat before the match even starts: “If I don’t get any kills, I’ll switch.” My guy, if you already know you’re not gonna get kills, just pick someone you can actually play from the start. You’re in Gold already—if you wanna test heroes, go play Quick Play and stop ruining everyone else’s game. And of course, when they finally decide to switch, they pick the team’s third tank. Just... awful.

The guy who wrote this post

Absolutely no one can stand him. I can’t stand that guy.

---

So, which ones are your favorites?

(This is just a humor post—don’t take it personally and have a laugh!)

[Terotrous]

Originally posted by Kuranes:

The one who stops healing mid-game

Ever been in a super intense moment of the match, only to suddenly stop getting heals and watch your whole team die? You hit tab, and surprise! Your healer has switched to DPS. Not only do they force another player to take over the role unexpectedly, but the entire team has to guess the switch because they don’t even bother to say anything.

I felt this one.

In general, if you switch from any role you should always call it out because the team will need to adapt. Also be wary of switching out of key team-ups.

Ie, we have Luna + Namor, Luna switches to Mantis, disabling the team-up. You should inform your Namor that you're doing this so they don't just suddenly realize they're missing an ability.

[Paranoia_Inc]

I put up with a half dozen Groots that would keep their walls close, blocking their own team's shots just as much as the other sides. Added benefit: Allowing the other side to take a whole lot more free ground. Honestly, these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ making me root for the loggers in the Amazon Rainforest.

[Hayato7729]

You forgot this one :

The Hela/Punisher/Winter Soldier/Spiderman who use an aimbot

At the start of the game he is bad and can't even hit a single person not even a tank like Hulk. He start to lose, and then magically he start to have an aim similar to you, when you watch his replay you start to notice how quick his cursor lock people and no matter what kind of move you do his cursor slightly follow you. You stay in denial and pretend he is just good, so you play better and overcome this situation. Then he lose the first round like that and suddently he does headshot only, track people through walls and became a living god in 30-10 and in the killcam his aim just snap from one target to other.

When you call him out, he is always going to say in this order no matter what : "Who is cheating ?" => "Me ? lol i am bad" => "My aim is very bad i have only 30% accuracy" => "Skill issues" => "Stop yapping" => "ezzzzzz"

He is the reason why console players disable crossplay and why most people stopped playing. What's the point to play against someone like that ? It's like playing chess against someone who start with queens instead of pawns and can bring back piece on the board anytime he want. It's stupid, annoying and frustrating. Yet the guy pretend he is the best player in the world for winning like that.

[AvidExpert]

Why is the healer that just heals the tank who is also doing nothing but charging the enemy ult up claiming they have 50k healing not in here?

actually just call it the Stat padder

I just translate that to like 40 ults he gave the enemy, GOOD JOB BRO!

Was losing a gm game because a magneto played like this, he obv got carried up, told the healers to heal me on Thor instead and we went from what looked like a lost game to instantly demolishing them.

Not only was Magnetos damage block stat padded, the healers stats were padded, to noobs this looks good, to good players we just thinking how many defencive/offensive ults did you give to someone doing that while making ZERO push?

[Kyutaru]

The ones that believe in EOMM.

Especially when all submitted evidence confirms it's SBMM. They love to argue like they're right yet if you present proof they're not, they call it a sham. If you ask them to prove their claim, they can't because they made it all up. A bad Doctor Strange is preferred.

[Kogan]

Originally posted by Kuranes:

After countless hours playing Marvel Rivals...

Then, when the match ends with terrible stats, they type “healer diff” at the supports—who, by the way, have 30,000 healing and the healing & assist medals.

You really shouldn't have mentioned the "countless hours" part.

Because after all those countless hours, you still don't realize that total healing is irrelevant, you still have not grasped these basic fundamentals of the game.

it's just a convenient cop-out for the worst of the worst entitled healers who refuse to take accountability, feel they should be allowed to put in the lowest effort on the team and be lazy, only healing the tank and what's in front of them for the entire match.

You accumulate this "30,000 healing" or whatever it might be and your shiny "healing & assist medals" that no one cares about as you only heal the tank all game while people die beside you and behind you.

Because you refuse to turn around while every other role has to. Usually the case when I see a healer bringing up their total healing.

So even if it was 1,000,000 healing, it means nothing, stop only looking at what you think is a big number, you only expose yourself as being a very, very bad player. Distribution of that healing is what matters and if people are calling you out about that, it's probably true.

The other healer might only have 3,000 healing like you mentioned and still be a thousand times more useful than you are because they're actually capable of doing something other than only looking forward healing the tank and who is in front of them. They're the one busting their ass to save DPS being flanked from beside you and behind you that you never even notice.

I saw an entire thread posted on here where bad healer players were trying so hard to justify their laziness, their tunnel vision, only wanting to look forward, it blew my mind, one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

This is one of the biggest problems with the healer role, it's the most prone to laziness and lack of accountability because most aren't watching them and their mistakes aren't as obvious. And as a result their egos have grown so big that they think they know everything and no one can tell them anything.

This is how you remain a mediocre player forever, you're your own worst enemy.

What do you think is going to happen when you only want to look forward only healing the tank and what's in front of you the entire match?

You simply get surrounded and your team gets obliterated, no matter what your total healing was.

[Kuranes]

Originally posted by Kogan:

Originally posted by Kuranes:

After countless hours playing Marvel Rivals...

Then, when the match ends with terrible stats, they type “healer diff” at the supports—who, by the way, have 30,000 healing and the healing & assist medals.

You really shouldn't have mentioned the "countless hours" part.

Because after all those countless hours, you still don't realize that total healing is irrelevant, you still have not grasped these basic fundamentals of the game.

it's just a convenient cop-out for the worst of the worst entitled healers who refuse to take accountability, feel they should be allowed to put in the lowest effort on the team and be lazy, only healing the tank and what's in front of them for the entire match.

You accumulate this "30,000 healing" or whatever it might be and your shiny "healing & assist medals" that no one cares about as you only heal the tank all game while people die beside you and behind you.

Because you refuse to turn around while every other role has to. Usually the case when I see a healer bringing up their total healing.

So even if it was 1,000,000 healing, it means nothing, stop only looking at what you think is a big number, you only expose yourself as being a very, very bad player. Distribution of that healing is what matters and if people are calling you out about that, it's probably true.

The other healer might only have 3,000 healing like you mentioned and still be a thousand times more useful than you are because they're actually capable of doing something other than only looking forward healing the tank and who is in front of them. They're the one busting their ass to save DPS being flanked from beside you and behind you that you never even notice.

I saw an entire thread posted on here where bad healer players were trying so hard to justify their laziness, their tunnel vision, only wanting to look forward, it blew my mind, one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

This is one of the biggest problems with the healer role, it's the most prone to laziness and lack of accountability because most aren't watching them and their mistakes aren't as obvious. And as a result their egos have grown so big that they think they know everything and no one can tell them anything.

This is how you remain a mediocre player forever, you're your own worst enemy.

What do you think is going to happen when you only want to look forward only healing the tank and what's in front of you the entire match?

You simply get surrounded and your team gets obliterated, no matter what your total healing was.

Relax, buddy, it’s just a humor post so we can all laugh a bit at our own and others’ mistakes (check the last point—I even included myself among the dumbest players). The “countless hours” I’ve played is just an exaggeration to add to the comedic tone of the post.

That said, you’re not wrong—healers do have to take care of the whole team, reposition well, and even survive to make sure they don’t leave their team without heals. But come on, it’s still funny when a Spiderman who did absolutely nothing blames the healers—when at least, for better or worse, they actually put out a decent amount of healing.

Cheers! :)

[Flavalicious]

Originally posted by Kogan:

Originally posted by Kuranes:

After countless hours playing Marvel Rivals...

Then, when the match ends with terrible stats, they type “healer diff” at the supports—who, by the way, have 30,000 healing and the healing & assist medals.

You really shouldn't have mentioned the "countless hours" part.

Because after all those countless hours, you still don't realize that total healing is irrelevant, you still have not grasped these basic fundamentals of the game.

it's just a convenient cop-out for the worst of the worst entitled healers who refuse to take accountability, feel they should be allowed to put in the lowest effort on the team and be lazy, only healing the tank and what's in front of them for the entire match.

You accumulate this "30,000 healing" or whatever it might be and your shiny "healing & assist medals" that no one cares about as you only heal the tank all game while people die beside you and behind you.

Because you refuse to turn around while every other role has to. Usually the case when I see a healer bringing up their total healing.

So even if it was 1,000,000 healing, it means nothing, stop only looking at what you think is a big number, you only expose yourself as being a very, very bad player. Distribution of that healing is what matters and if people are calling you out about that, it's probably true.

The other healer might only have 3,000 healing like you mentioned and still be a thousand times more useful than you are because they're actually capable of doing something other than only looking forward healing the tank and who is in front of them. They're the one busting their ass to save DPS being flanked from beside you and behind you that you never even notice.

I saw an entire thread posted on here where bad healer players were trying so hard to justify their laziness, their tunnel vision, only wanting to look forward, it blew my mind, one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

This is one of the biggest problems with the healer role, it's the most prone to laziness and lack of accountability because most aren't watching them and their mistakes aren't as obvious. And as a result their egos have grown so big that they think they know everything and no one can tell them anything.

This is how you remain a mediocre player forever, you're your own worst enemy.

What do you think is going to happen when you only want to look forward only healing the tank and what's in front of you the entire match?

You simply get surrounded and your team gets obliterated, no matter what your total healing was.

lol what a ♥♥♥♥ take.

[Get Out]

I had a misfortune to play with a Rocket player in Grandmaster who was lacking even the basic level understanding in the game and the role he was playing. I was playing as Winter Soldier and he never gave me infinite ammo. I didn't understand why but after half way into the match I realized he is just throwing it to my other teammates. I think he genuinely believed that he can give infinite ammo to everybody in the team. He constantly forgot to put respawn beacon, and whenever he did, he put it out of the open where it got instantly destroyed. After these we asked him politely to switch, since there is no point to play a hero that he clearly have no clue how to play. Then he dropped the absolute nuke and said : This is his main hero. He cannot play any other hero. After we lost the match, he was calling us dirty animals because "we are useless". I was shocked how a player like this gets into Grandmaster lobbies. Some people just hard carried all the way which is crazy to me.

[Koss_Tea]

"It's only a game, why do you have to be mad?" (c)

[P0RK1B01]

Had one Strange portal the entire enemy team onto us and we were team wiped and blocked off most of the match...we all stopped and looked at him like... my guy, my dude?

[Paranoia_Inc]

Originally posted by P0RK1B01:

Had one Strange portal the entire enemy team onto us and we were team wiped and blocked off most of the match...we all stopped and looked at him like... my guy, my dude?

Guilty of this myself. In my defense my game bugged out cause I started the portal ability, pressed left click to reposition it without moving, then placed it in front of enemy spawn but it opened the second right in front of me without any further left clicks.

So let this be a lesson, place the intended exit first, just in case. Especially if doing the trick for the achievement.

[L.3.N.Z.]

I was trying to play healer in one game and we were losing big time. I switched to Storm and that turned the tide.

[Shiro]

Originally posted by Paranoia_Inc:

I put up with a half dozen Groots that would keep their walls close, blocking their own team's shots just as much as the other sides. Added benefit: Allowing the other side to take a whole lot more free ground. Honestly, these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ making me root for the loggers in the Amazon Rainforest.

I was having this with racoon cleaning Groot walls did lots of dmg and heals on 1 rounds 11k heals and they complained how bad I was when after changing they just killed me ! By not cleaning Groot walls but he did 15k heals on who knows who

[Purple Monkey]

Moon Knight players who think they're Batman, but not as far as actually defending their supports.