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I think the real question is why are people replacing success and self confidence with winning in video games? Some people want to win, not for the reason of sport, but to "Be better" than other people which is just a sign of weakness and low self esteem because their life outside of games sucks. That's why some go as low as using cheats to "win" a game because they simply hate other people and themselves.
Disable all online interactions, both voice & writen chat.
There is nothing anyone can say of importance to you, the game has pings & automated messages, that's enough.
Enjoy your improved experience.
And in video games you get the same people. But the problem with video games is even bigger, because all are put into one basket. Amateurs and professionals alike. And these rude tryhards think they will surpass professionals eventually so they behave even worse than in sports. And additionally matchmaking is usually broken where, compared to sports i.e. footbalmatch, it is like one team can get Ronaldo randomly into team and the other one 12yo Timmy who rides a wheelchair. And funnily enought it would be Timmy who would curse at people and behave badly calling them noobs and loosers, not Ronaldo.
with that comes facing your own persona.
hence the false mask of "i am good at the game, this is my entire personality and you threaten that by 'making me lose'"