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Then why do I have the same experience ? :P
Gamba luck x2 + both of us being here at the same time. That's a lot of coincidence for only us two not having problems. Chances are very unlikely.
Also like, PoE isn't a game that plays really well with friends in the same map, I play PoE with friends but we do our own things and pool our resources, we barely play together. ^^''
I see this brought up a lot and sure there are map bosses that can legit one-shot but every time i've died mapping it was from multiple mobs hitting me at once from stun etc.
It might have looked like a one-shot but it was multiple sources hitting me at once.
This will serve you in real life as well as games.
Also, consider learning to write in a more concise way. Very few people are going to bother with that wall of text.
When you die in a map, all the monsters and league mechanics should despawn, but the portals remain so you can go back in and pick up everything that might have dropped.
Also, if PoE2 is your first ARPG experience, congrats on getting your cherry popped. I'm not sure this is the best game to start your career though. I'm pretty sure Diablo 4 would be much more fun and engaging experience to start with--this is not ironical or degrading point, Diablo 4 is just a lot more streamlined and curated experience with very different philosophy to character progression and gear acquisition.
Ultimately, your main point is very vague and as such moot. One-shots are often just several bad things happening in very short amount of time. True one-hit deaths can happen but are often happening on bosses, map or pinnacle version, where certain mechanics/attacks need to be avoided. If you are dying to true one-shots in maps, you have not built your character correctly in most cases.