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Depending on the cause, it’s possible a VPN might help. Really, you’d need to provide diagnostic data such as a WinMTR file with 500 packets sent to each node along the route for people to say anything with certainty. Steam discussion boards wouldn’t be my first choice for that kind of troubleshooting tbqh.
I may try VPN someday, thanks for the suggestion.
It's likely a software issue. Something is installed that is deeply hated by your client software. It could be as simply as tweaking network options to account for the specific client software. It could as be a ton of other crap. Do you have a third party antivirus running that the client hates? Maybe it needs to be closed (antivirus). So many things.
I promise you the explanation is not that a server likes your friend, but does not like you.
I live in Ireland, and I routinely connect to servers located in America, England, and Germany. That doesn’t mean my ISP has infrastructure in all of those countries; they have peering agreements which allow them to exchange traffic with one another. If I changed ISP, my traffic to a server in Frankfurt may well use much of the same infrastructure that it had done before. The internet is bigger than your router & your ISP’s cabinet out on the street.