So I walked for two hours to get my van, then I drove for an hour to get to the forest to cut down a tree. I watched as the tree fell, a single tear went down my face. I looked at my mission log, and there was a new mission. I then realized I had to cut down another tree that was 2 hours away. I got in my van and began to drive. It was then that I made the decision to drive 70mph into a building. Because only death could save me from this wooded hell.

This game sucks. The chainsaw gives you the most money per tree, everything else earns you less so there is no point in buying machinery. You also move the fastest while on foot, when strafing, the vehicles are super slow. Oh and you also fall through the terrain constantly, there is even a button for resetting your vehicle when it happens so it's not like the developers didn't know about it.

Update: Still bad.

You start the game as a nameless man with a chainsaw. You wonder who you are and why you are in front of a house. Right about when you get your bearing you are informed that if you cut down 8 trees in a forest on the other side of town you will be paid $12,000. They don’t phone you or contact you in any way to relay this information but you just know... maybe this is all in your head? All you know is that you accepted this commitment and have only 2 hours and 30 minutes to deliver. You look around, you have no mode of transpiration and no real indication of how you got there. The only option is to walk, or in this case sprint. As you are running through town you notice that there are other houses, other cars parked but no people. You run through the entire town and haven’t seen a single person or any signs of life at all. You arrive at the forest where you will begin your job. You find a flagged tree, carefully position yourself in front of it and get to work. After what feels like forever you finish your last tree. You are informed you have finished your job and money appears in your account. Except you don’t have a bank account, it just appears as if somehow you just know you have more money now. You are informed of another job, this one for 3 trees to be cut down next to a farm on the other side of town. You decide that you will spend your money on a van to drive there, everything goes black. You wake up in the middle of town in a van with no indication on how you got there. Who did you buy the van from? Where are they now? These questions will have to wait as your job ahead at the farm has you feeling anxious. You start to drive to the farm when you notice the van says you are traveling at 80 yet you are going slower than you can run. You do not see anyone anywhere in the town, everything feels wrong. The way the van drives, the way it just kind of rotates on its axis instead of steering. You pass the farm and stop dead in your tracks. There is a cow! You jump out of your van and run over to see the only other living thing in this entire world. The cow does not move it just stands there staring at you. You position yourself in front of the cow and look into its eyes and all you see is blackness. The game is over.

Axes and chainsaws baby, the ORIGINAL hack-n-slash.

CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Your first mission has you run off to the "haunted forest" to remove three trees so that the undercrop can grow! But why is it a haunted forest? What horrible fate befell those who named it? WHO THE F*** knows!

It just is. You're not here to solve some sort of godd**n MYSTERY - you're here to chop down some trees, and that's what your going to do!

Plot? Reason? Purpose? You're HACKING DOWN TREES! Why do you *need* a reason?

Fine, fine, some Douglas Firs killed your parents and now you're the MOTHERF**KING BATMAN OF THE WOODS. You're not the lumberjack they deserve, you're the flannel wearing badass that they NEED.

Are the cops going to chop down trees? Feh, I don't think so. The firemen? Sure, they might have axes, but they're not going to deforest an entire nature preserve on a whim because they're too busy fighting friggin' fires. So it's up to YOU and your in-game vehicle...

...the CHAINSAW.

Sure, you don't actually RIDE it, and yeah - any car that you actually do come across, although parked, glitches like a mother and launches you about 1,000 feet in the air - but does it hurt you? NO. Why?

BECAUSE YOU ARE THE GOD**N BATMAN, THAT'S WHY.

Now shut up, buy this game and play, the fate of the world just might depend on it...

...

...it *probably* doesn't, because it is a f***ing game about cutting down trees...but ya know...

IT MIGHT. It just might.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!
This game is atrocious and is unfinished.
The gameplay is so repetitive and boring, you cannot see other players, if you run up cars you go flying into the air.
Would have had more fun ripping out my eyeballs.

First In-Game Adventure: You start out as a random guy with a chainsaw standing in front of a house and you see that you are next to three recycle bins. You wonder who you are and how you got there, and why you are standing next to three recycle bins. You see a tree and you decide you want to cut it down. You run up to it in super lag at 1fps and try to stick the chainsaw which you don’t know how you got into the tree. You try to start the chainsaw but it says you are holding the chainsaw in the wrong position. So you give up and decide to explore. But then, all of the sudden, you feel the need that you need to cut down some trees. You have no way of getting this information, you just know in your mind that you must cut down three trees. So you decide to cut down these trees and you realize that you can run faster sideways than you can forwards. You don’t know why, you just do. In your head you visualize a map. You have no way of getting this map, you just picture it (in the top-right corner of your screen). You run to this place where you feel the trees are and you magically stop. You have reached the end of the world. Small world right? Then you turn around and you see a hideous, very scary sight. You see…a mountain that is literally covered in trees!!! Then you see a crane and decide to jump in it so that you don’t have to look at that hideous mountain anymore. You don’t know how you got in it or what you pressed, but you’re magically in the crane. You can’t get out. You’re stuck. The game is over.

Second In-Game Adventure: You start out as a random guy with a chainsaw standing in front of a house and you see that you are next to four recycling bins. You once again wonder who you are and how you got there, and why there are now four recycling bins. Maybe the garbage man came and dropped off another one? These questions remain in your head leaving you in confusion. You see a tree once again and you decide you want to cut it down. You think that maybe this time the chainsaw will actually start…You thought wrong. Once again the chainsaw doesn’t move. You decide that maybe this tree just has problems and doesn’t like you so you decide to run away from this tree that doesn’t seem to like you and you run up a hill. You then remember that you can run faster sideways than you can forwards. You don’t know why, you just do. So you awkwardly run sideways until you come to another tree. You think that this one looks more friendly and will want to be your friend so you can cut it down…You thought wrong. As soon as you get up to the tree and raise your chainsaw, the tree pulls you into it. You don’t know how, since you were standing about 5 ft. away from the tree. How can this be? You are stuck with these puzzling questions waiting to be answered. Anyway, the tree pulls you into it and you go into the tree. You don’t know how, all you know is that you are now inside the tree. But then, things get much more scary. You then fall out of the tree and start falling into a world of whiteness. You look up and you can see that you have fallen out of the world. You can see the bottom of the world fading as you fall farther and farther into the world of whiteness. You look down into the whiteness. It looks very…white. But then, as you start to think that things can’t get any worse…You thought wrong. Black and white lines cover up your screen. Everything fades. The game crashes. You are back at your desktop. Worst simulator game ever…

Don't even. Not even as a joke. You'll regret it within a small number of minutes. Possibly less than that. I've heard that wood dust gives you cancer, anyway.

If I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and the developer of this game and I had a gun with two bullets I'd shoot the developer twice. Thats how bad this game is.

Like Skyrim with chainsaws 12/10

Wow this is the best running into vehicles and flying through the air with a chainsaw in your hand that doesnt work simulator i have ever played, definatly GOTY.