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https://mountandblade.fandom.com/wiki/Personality_Traits
And I have no honor trait. I'm sure other stuff involved, but still... I NEVER commit evil acts, and ALWAYS am generous etc... and I only have the traits I started with. I am in day 3300 of this campaign.
If you start as mercyful, and one of the first things you do is bring some bandits to sell as slave labour to some village dude.. You lose that trait right away. Deliver some grain to a farmer, and you get it back. Guess it come down to how much good you do vs how much bad, and then knowing what actually count towards bad/good.
You're just at a threshold. PartyStarvingGenerosityPenalty = -20. I think you'll find that you're just a quest away from gaining it back.
I recommend that moving forward you should keep thought like that to yourself.
You let your troops starve, which could have been easily prevented by paying attention to what you were doing, but you don't think that merits severe punishment? You need to learn about consequences.
You just described why they're no longer considered generous. If you're a penny pincher when it comes to something as basic as food for your troops, you deserve the negative attribute points.
In this case it was enough to push over the threshold so the OP lost the trait. If they do it consistently, they'll earn the negative Closefisted trait.
Don't take on more troops than you can afford. And they work for money, once you stop pay they don't work for you anylonger and prone to take off..