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some people prefere a more traditional mount & blade experience which is without birth and death.
because they are part of the game and a cool feature?
Yes, and it's annoying to constantly recruit new ones because they die in battle like flies, and in the moment it is also super annoying to babysit them in battles because you have no real tool to just keep them out of the fight.
How to make babies?
I've started to think all the chars I have created are doomed to be infertile.
^--- This.
However, I don't think gameplay can be balanced based on the player's choice, here. It'd have to be balanced for one or the other. Trying to balance for both would... be a ton of work. (IMO)
With one setting, you have a traditional "Warband" experience in a game that is blatantly designed to be a much more longer-play game. With the other? You get into a "generational play" game, which is longer than Warband, but with the end-game filled with "emptiness" with the only exception of a dynamic game mechanic being... generational play.
IMO, the end-game stretches on forever, through constant battles, constant fief-switching, etc, with nothing there to do BUT prepare for the next generation to take over... (I honestly just don't "get it." While the mechanic isn't a terrible idea, I don't understand how they intend to get from "Player 1" play to "children taking over." It's just not designed for that.)
Note: I haven't played the latest patches where they've supposedly made some changes for stability and for gameplay experience in the end-game. That being said, though, I can't see how that results in it being less grindy for the end-game player and I don't see anything added that provides some sort of interactive content to keep the end-game from making battles... boring. All it's got going for it is the hope that a new generation will spice up play...