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Accessible by shortcut with N.
That's one way to find a spouse.
After a lot of frustration with marriage (so realistic though), I'm hoping this update will improve things a bit because it was getting old running around to every city and castle and failing 94% favorable speech checks. The patch notes make it sound like they added more nobles to choose from.
https://www.nexusmods.com/mountandblade2bannerlord/mods/518
Strange, since they increased the marriage age to 45 with 1.4.1. I still think they should just lower the starting age of the character.
The reason you can't marry Rhagea is due to game mechanics. You cannot personally marry clan leaders. This is likely because your spouse becomes considered to be a member of your clan once they marry you. Note that while you can't marry a clan leader yourself, you can offer children or siblings in marriage to them (though I imagine Rhagea will likely be dead of old age by the time you're able to consider that).
Edit sorry i am a man though.