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Can't you do it by talk to the actual faction leader? I mean, leave with your fiefs.
https://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php?threads/there-is-no-option-for-me-to-keep-my-fiefs-when-i-try-to-leave-the-kingdom.461309/
It´s flagged as "in progress"...
Quoting the thread: "If I talk to the ruler of Sturgia in person, I get the option of ".. be aware that if you leave my services, you will be surrendering to me all the fiefs which you hold in name". There I can only accept to that, or stay as a vassal in the Kingdom."
Just need to wait for the fix then.... waiting is a game in itself -)
I did just test it and it works just as it should. You click on "Leave Kingdom" and your options are "Keep all holdings" and "Relinquish all holdings."
Click on "Keep all holdings" and you keep your ♥♥♥♥ but you end up at war with the kingdom you left. But you can buy your way out of it by talking to any lord from that kingdom.
Click on "Relinquish all holdings" and you lose all your ♥♥♥♥, but no war.
Either way, you take a huge reputation hit.
Works fine, and I have never seen it not do that. But I have not borked my game up with mods. No mods ever. Your mileage may vary.
(And for you gamers who think that 'wanna' and 'gonna' are words -- "relinquish" means "voluntarily cease to keep or claim; give up.")
But yes, as Clovis says. You can always leave the kingdom from the kingdom menu.
I don't think it was ever actually broken, either, unless by someone's mods. But I did not want to be so indelicate as to say that I think people just didn't know what the hell they were doing.
Because the option does work, and your game is probably corrupted.