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Thank you friend you saved my day
Vietnam is hardly a great comparison lol. Im not running a democracy. But that's not the issue here, it is the fact that the mod makes me just accept a decision I didn't make. I mean I bet there's people and vassals that will be angry about the war continuing, but then let them, see what happens. But the opposite should be true too. I bet the vassal that is currently ruling the town(s)/castle(s) that will be handed over to the enemy kingdom as reparation probably will very much appreciate the war continuing so that they wont lose their holdings. And the hundreds of mercenaries who lost almost no troops but is still gaining a lot of riches as part of my victories main army, why would they not continue fighting? Why would they give a frog about the villages of my kingdom being raided? Some of these problems can be edited in the mod settings so that it will work a little better, so far to an acceptable state by minimizing a lot the effect of some of the war exhausting modifiers, so that's what I have done now.
Villages create the supplies soldiers and armies need to function. If your caravans and towns get raided, you lose your supply lines.
As you've discovered, you can alter the amount of exhaustion each war activity gives so you can have the types of war you want.
Of course, if you don't like the decisions the mod author makes, you are welcome to make yours. :)
tldr; Kings should have absolutely authority over decisions and they should then experience the consequences of their decisions. There's no higher authority that the King MUST adhere to, a King can always decide whatever they want.
It's always an option to start making your own mod, but that still doesn't doesn't change the fact that it's nonsensical to be forced into accepting terms. That's not how a rule with absolute authority works or should work in a game trying to emulate it. A big relation penalty with the vassals that has taken the most losses, both in terms of lost fiefs, raided villages and troops, relative to the magnitude, and then have their relation value combined with their honor and valor rating and their clan strength versus your strength to determine the likelihood of them breaking away from your kingdom, either joining the enemy (provided their relation with said enemy is sufficiently good) or founding their own breakaway kingdom again provided they are on sufficiently good relation with the enemies to make peace with them and then only have you as an enemy (but interestingly you should the be able to not declare war on them but just let them go if they also was not interested in war with you, again playing into the whole point of absolute authority that a king has to make decisions). And as mentioned any clan that was given a conquered fief should much more strongly oppose accepting surrender if that means giving up their newly acquired fief in reparations.
As a ruler, you do have the closest thing to absolute authority through influence. You can push through anything you want if you want to spend the influence.
The War Exhaustion is a representation of everything in your faction. The King can sit on his throne and shout about how he (or she) wants more war and refuses to surrender, but your forces aren't able to continue fighting. The game itself simply can't account for it. This is why stipulating realism in this game is just silly. Everyone only wants the realism that benefits them, not the parts that would be bad, because those bad parts 'aren't fun'.
Diplomacy does give you the option of (almost) eternal war. Set the minimum war duration to 500 days, the War Cooldown to 0 days, and turn off all Exhaustion. Eventually peace will happen, but then you can just immediately declare again. Diplomacy gives you the option to unilaterally declare war. So now both sides of the war cannot surrender and must continue fighting. 500 days is a long, long time.
Diplomacy doesn't do anything with regards to traits. Another mod by the same author - Allegiance Overhaul - might be something you could look into. It plays into traits and clans changing factions based on a number of factors. I've used it on 1.2.7 and haven't had any issues. Just like Diplomacy, all the options are customizable, so set it up how you would want.
https://www.nexusmods.com/mountandblade2bannerlord/mods/1750?tab=description
From the RP perspective, I agree with you that being a despotic ruler should be an option, along with all the consequences doing this would bring.
Turn off Fief Repatriation. Then you won't lose any territory you gained when you surrender. Always check the options to set things up how you want.
Spend some time now and then to drain everyones influence you basically control it all. Just remember to leave some influence so they can assemble armies -)
I do still want the option of repatriation, because keeping conquered territories when surrendering wouldn't make sense. And I actually want a bit less wars tbh, the AI is borderline suicidal at times with its constant war declarations; I get the feeling that the AI is not trying to win themselves but rather make you lose.
Thank you for the suggestion that sounds interesting, I would take a look at that.
I passed Sacred Majesty.
There's also an interesting perspective here, if I can have a 1000 man army going and still generate a surplus of influence I kinda feel that the people and the leaders of my country should be more inclined to support my decisions, because that is literally what influence is supposed to represent, at least to some degree. Not that it should automatically make people do what you want, but it should be a modifier for how much they want or not want to support you, but even a gazillion influence + maximum relation with all vassals/villages + max town/castle loyalty/security will all have zero influence on the magic war exhaustion trigger.