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You can trade settlements with the level 300 Trade perk.
https://www.nexusmods.com/mountandblade2bannerlord/mods/2453
I use a mod for that so that it goes a bit faster. I use this one: https://www.nexusmods.com/mountandblade2bannerlord/mods/4819
The mod cultural assimilation also checks loyalty and if high enough, then you get a bonus. You can tweak the settings yourself as well. I just use the standard settings. This mod also works for the computer controlled kingdoms, so if you see for example vlandia taking Quraz from the Aserai, then it will start to become vlandia culture. Once in a play i was empire myself and took Pen Cannoc from the battanians. After that it started slowly to become empire culture.
The key is getting and keeping their loyalty up. I'm not going to go into the details for this because you can search this forum on 'loyalty' and read what has already been written about it. But basically, keep them fed and feeling secure and occupied with festivals and fairs, and they will be happy.
And when they are happy, you get more tax money and they will give you better and more troops. But more important, when they are happy, they do not rebel.
Yes, that -3 loyalty for ruling a fief of a different culture than yours is a challenge, But it is do-able.
In fact, I rather enjoy the challenge. I will sometimes play as a Vlandian and then try to take over Battania or some foreign faction with my knights just for the extra challenge. (In my current campaign, I am a Sturgian taking over Sturgia, and it is almost too easy.)
Quick hints --
1. Your older brother is a good enough governor that he can govern a fief of a different culture.
2. Between yourself and your two brothers, you can marry 3 spouses of the appropriate culture.
3. Castles do not rebel. (But you still want to keep them happy to get more taxes and better noble line troops.)
I think with in a generation itll start changing with the newer generations that where born there. But yeah it would be very slowly. hell if you look at america our culture does change rapidly in terms of time. But our over arching culture is still the same. The super important culture stuff like just basic human rights towards groups though, has taken well over 100 years.
Kinda would be cool to see with out mods, culture change super slowly, like every couple of years youll have a % chance starting at 1% per recruitment cycle that 1+ guys depending on how much the culture is shifting, will be of the newer culture.
And itll just go up, till half the guys are of the new culture. And then it stops.
It was years since I played this game, and it was still in alpha phase or smth :D