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No.
The cool kids know that this main quest is fubar, so they ignore it. They play campaign and rescue their siblings, then they blow off Neretzes' Folly and let it expire. No harm, no foul, no problem. They then play it like a sandbox, which is what it really is. You can still establish your own kingdom when the time comes without doing that main quest, and there are better banners to be had.
Be a cool kid. Don't let that main quest grind you down. It brings naught but heartbreak and despair.
no to OP.
Agree with This reply
So start in sandbox or main story, but don't do anything with the banners.
You know your theory "Just conquer almost everything before hand" is not believed by... well anyone, right?
You have 20 years.. U mean to tell me you are capturing almost ALL of empire, or ALL of non empire in 20 years?
Ummm no.
But it is a good theory, I agree.
+1
Who says you should capture it all? What keep you from help others capture it, purpose is to reduce their strenght to be much more managable size. I don't think you realize how much you can influence the "who owns what" just working as a merc before you even embark at that stage.
If you more or less capture one of the empires before, and then prior helped reduce the others its more or less a cake walk compared to rush the thing as soon as you get one fief and form a kingdom.
In my current campaign just being a merc for the Aserai I put like most of Vlandia in the Aserai dungeons while Aserai doing land grabs. Of course then Aserai made peace because why not when they are on a steamroll right? sigh.
Once you ready to embark on gather fiefs before start a kingdom, make sure you got the perks from scout and riding that reduce chance of prisoners escape. You can with some grind end up with majority of their nobles as prisoners in your party and then its just a breeze to start take over fiefs with little interference at all. Maybe playstyle not for everyone, but I find its working fine for me -)