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Your eldest brother is best at being used in your party until you are a noble and can field armies, in which case he's best off going to become a secondary party.
In my runs, the children have 0 experience in their stats even if they have you pick preferences for them. - Since you can't play them and they can't build particular stats naturally within your party (Charm, Leadership, Trade, Steward) they'll be too vulnerable to join big fights, and are best used as in non combat capacities, or married off for political points.
Only your direct heirs matter for stats, because when you die, you play'em. If you give them a good array of starter skills you can easily speed level them, especially with your superior loot and other things. Not to mention, children have insanely better stats than you can start with, so it's something to look forward to.
Never auto allocate because It may screw up how you wanna play your heirs later.
I'm playing the latest Steam patch. The launcher says e170 298189. I would check your graphics options. Perhaps there's something you can turn off in there that will prevent the CTD. At a guess, it has something to do with your video card/drivers and whatever format or codec the execution video is in. Maybe also see if there's an update for your video drivers.
@Blessed Heretic: Thanks a bunch for the concise answer!