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In any case, I went on with game anyway and the romance continued normally in ToB, so I guess I answered my own question.
you could turn her to stone or imprison her, and she'll be removed from your party without ending the romance as far as I recall,
its the ending the pressence in your party dialog that kills the romance.
its extremely clear it ends the romance.
she generally says 'things won't be the same between us, and 'this will end the romance'
ToB has a bit of an error where it allows you to continue romances with anyone. regardless of gender or previous affliation.
Well I think the romance may have been over anyway before I went to the graveyard. Nothing was said when I dropped her from the party. I didn't know this at the time though. But with her in the party, Bodhi kidnapped her. Dropped from the party, she did not.
oddly as I mentioned in a different thread I managed to get Jahiera's pin and Romance Viconica in the same playthru.