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I just wrapped up a playthrough of KH3 and keeping track of the web of character relationships is bonkers, even for me, who has played through them all. So much of the cast has two names or dual identities and this guy is half of that guy and this person is actually that person and her heart is inside of her and there are no less than 3 Rikus for some reason and lets introduce time travel on top of it all merely one game ago. I would love for you to go straight to KH3 and report back your experience because it will be utter nonsense. I don't even think that playing through every game for plot purposes is worth it because it is clear as day that they just make it up as they go. The rules of the KH universe constantly change to fit its narrative, making it sort of difficult to give a ♥♥♥♥. The gameplay is generally fun; play them for that reason.
That said, while KH1 has indeed aged rather poorly, KH2 is still aces and the only game in the franchise that has a completely fulfilling conclusion. KH1, Chain of Memories, and KH2 would have been a perfect little trilogy. KH3 is enjoyable if you completely allow yourself to just let the story play out and never question why or how anything is happening. No other fiction on this planet could get away with the amount of times that I just shrug my shoulders and say "Sure, why not?" but a video game franchise developed by a Japanese studio about Disney characters hanging out with anime boys and girls. It's really just bad writing, but I love it just the same.
However you mentionned feeling like KH1 is a bit rougher than you remembered and to be honest while that is true (it was the first game after all) a couple of the games have this "rough" feeling to them since most of them are pretty old and came out on pretty dated consoles.
I'd say if you really want to learn about the story of the games but don't feel like playing them you could always watch the cutscenes or watch recaps online but keep in mind they tend to be pretty long (for cutscenes) or skip on important details (for recaps) and imo not playing through the games makes the story and characters a little less memorable.
Try and play them and if they bore you maybe they're just not your type of game and thats totally fine
Except Chain of Memories, a lot fans skip playing that one because the gameplay is weird and the story can be frustrating (basically all disney worlds are just a repeat of KH1) so cutscenes are the way to go for most people.
But to answer your question, yes understanding the grand narrative is like half of what makes KH what it is. A lot of people describe the story as confusing but I think it's a bit of an overstatement, if you play the games in release order, some questions will not be answered on purpose and later games will give you the answer.
Imo what makes KH3 so great is that it's the culmination of years of story that finally comes into a conclusion and you get to see a proper ending for all of the characters and most of the questions you might will get answered by then.
And if you don't care about the story then KH2 and KH3 are the best gameplay wise.
TL;DR KH2 and KH3 best games overall but the other ones are still very cool and essential to the overall narrative (which is half the fun if you're into it) so give them a try !
Skipping entire games will lead to massive holes in the story, and they expect you to be following along.
If there's a game you don't find fun at all, even if you put it at a stupidly easy difficulty level, THEN I'd just suggest looking up a youtube cutscene movie at that point for that particular game (I did that with Chain of Memories because that gameplay is HORRID and unfun for me personally). Otherwise, the games are still fun for the most part, and you'll be more invested with the characters when you're spending a lot of time playing as them and trying to complete their games.
Kingdom Hearts is a very long journey, and you'll have more love and appreciation for it the longer you play vs watch. Trust me on this one.
2 should come first. But other than that, the menus are correct.
To enjoy the various worlds and combat and exploration? Sure.