Tales of Graces is likely the worst RPG I have actually finished in several years.

I couldn't write a story this bad if I tried. Not even in the realm of parody could I think up something that was this aggressively asinine. The villain isn't revealed until near the end, which would be fine, except they start trying to make you sympathize with the irredeemable bastard by showing how he had his fee-fees hurt as a child by the subvillain who is already dead and thus does not hold emotional weight in the story anymore. All before they show you how he murdered a bunch of people, but it's fine because someone didn't give him enough Twinkies or some such. At this point I was eating grapes on the floor and only occasionally glancing at the screen because the final cutscene stretches on for 55 minutes and I had largely stopped engaging with it because this is brain poison and can only hurt you. If you remember the 'revenge bad' resolution of The Last of Us Part 2, multiply that by 10 and you shall arrive somewhere in the vicinity of how embarrassing and pathetic this game's plot is. This game is why Hayao Miyazaki says anime was a mistake. What a stupidly Japanese thought process the third act follows, on par with, 'they shouldn't have shot Harambe because all life is equal.'

But hold on, friends and neighbours! If you will see the full extent of the lack of ♥♥♥♥♥ given by this game's staff, consider the following. It's clear the voice actors are reading their lines off a page: they even pause to take breaths cuz they didnt practice even one take. There's also cheaply made music that sounds like an untalented teenager just got his first MIDI synth, and downright thoughtless dungeon design. This game willfully wastes time. It is the worst kind of game, and anyone who doesn't recognize it for the pile of excrement that it is is the worst kind of audience. I thought often of Javier Bardem while I played this game. How he asked the cashier in No Country For Old Men, you don't know what you're talking about, do you? Because that is what I felt towards the sheer pendeja-ism on display in the last two dungeons.

If I wasn't a fan of the series I wouldn't have wasted so much time waiting for this piece of ♥♥♥♥ to redeem itself. By the time I had come to terms with the fact that it would not be good, 14 hours had passed, and I decided I might as well finish it. I hate myself for having done so, but there you are. My mama always told me I should finish my food. The DLC chapter can go ♥♥♥♥ itself, though.

낡고 불친절 하다.

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