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But for my friend it always said it was private even when she had it open to the public and had a visitor on her farm so I don't know why it's like that. But I did figure out today that I could click on her name in my guest book to get to her profile to join her farm that way without having to exit the game and then go to her profile. But now that I know how to see the favs list I should be able to see her there also when she is online, hopefully.
Thanks for the help everybody, this stuff is kind of a pain to figure out when you don't really play mp games very often. I've been having my farm open to the public when I'm there working so visitors can come by to harvest event items, so that's kind of nice to help people out.
I'm on US West server, I don't leave my farm open when I'm not there so it's only visible for a limited time each day, but if they see me I have 800 of each event crop, it seems like people are mainly looking for the flowers, idk..
Basically there are 3 ways to join a game:
1- Via Find Farms (on any of the three filters: Public, Friends and Favorites)
2- Via Invite codes (you get it from the farm owner, if the farm is public it will always be the same, if it's not it will change on every session). Codes can be entered in the Find Farms section.
3- Via Steam invites. Owner can invite someone from the menu, but it's not required.
You can join to your friends' games from the Steam friends list or the player's profile, either from the Steam client (no need to close the game, you can just alt-tab), or the Steam overlay (opened by pressing Shift-Tab by default). You can join games this way even from your own farm, so it can be quicker than going to the main menu.
I think i got it figured out now, thanks for responding.
My guess is that people didn't plant as many flowers as the crops because the flowers are permanent placement, and they either have to have the space to keep them once the event is over and go through the hassle of moving them, or deleting them.