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I will also say that this issue... seems to have just magically disappeared? I figured I would test if I could join because why the hell not and I honestly should've before posting this (my bad). And despite the websites that can check for open ports saying my port is closed harder than a pickle jar, my Ark client could join the server without any hassle using the external address. So ??? I guess.
God internet is freaking stupid
Right now this server I'm hosting is just to play with a friend and nothing else