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And yes, we could desperately do with a real connection queue - at least for PvE servers. Dollie replied earlier this year to this particular feature request on Discord basically about it being unfair to PvP players which is why we haven't had the feature at all unfortunately (even though there's no harm in doing it on PvE only at the very least). Each DLC launch runs into the same issues, with a combination of a lack of official servers and a high number of players wanting to play the new content.
For science, a little while ago I did try the "auto retry" feature where you accept and it apparently joins the server automatically when it can. I ran a packet sniffer to see what was actually happening and I could see my very initial request to join the server show in the packet log, but after running the auto retry for 5 minutes I never saw any other attempts. So I'm not sure if it works or how it works, but it doesn't seem particularly effective compared to just hitting the join button manually (albeit tedious if you do it manually).