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1) You start a listen server multiplayer game on your end.
2) He hits ~ in game to open developer console
3) Then he types " Connect [IP address]:[port number] "
<don't include the "" or [] characters.>
I think it is something like that. I'm just trying to find my notes I typed up from ages ago.
I had the same problem as you, but the above instructions worked for me.
If not, then you probably both also have to open port TCP/UDP 27015 on your firewalls and routers.
Here is a really old quote;
and here is another persons solution;
Let us know which solution works for you.
Cheers.