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The thing is, many countries depicted in EU4 had weird succession systems, and most European dynasties had multiple branches, so the chance to get an heir really just represents the chance that a suitable member of the ruling family can be found and their right to inheritence assured before the current ruler dies.
Actually, having a ruler die without an heir can be a blessing. It means an adult ruler of a new dynasty will take over instead of potentially having an extremely young child. Also, since the new ruler will be of the same dynasty as one of your royal marriage partners, it puts you on the first step to a personal union. The only downsides are that it trashes your legitimacy and puts you at risk of falling into a personal union yourself.
I had already noticed the nearly-same-age-heirs thing and always figured that it was a close relative not their children, so if there was none it was only children left, so I feared that age was a factor like in CK2.