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Some of the same reasons an AI will refuse a call to arms can affect if they call you depending on what version you are on.
Though there are about 50 reasons why an AI wont accept plus its attitude toward you(defensive/threatened) aswell as opinion of the target country. As far as i know there are only a few things that will stop them calling you. High debt, sometimes already being in a war etc.
I also sometimes dont get a defensive call to arms off the AI if it starts a war first(and doesnt call me) but then gets attacked by a new alliance midway through its offensive war.
But sometimes its just the AI being the AI on not being smart in a way that benefit you instead of skrewing with you.
Also, they will call you in only if the AI would mathematically accept in your place. Things like your war exhaustion, distant war, low manpower, liking the enemy, etc. all make the AI think you will not accept so they don't ask. Distant war is usually the biggest reason for them not asking.
Sometimes, they will call you in later if your war exhaustion decreases enough. If you think it is close and your war exhaustion is high, you can try reducing exhaustion if you really want to join the war.
Another tactic is declaring war yourself on the enemy if you also have a CB. I like to do this since I would much rather be war leader to get what I want. If you have messages set where a popup-and-pause box appears when an ally declares war, you can occasionally declare a separate war yourself before they call you in.
This is most likely the problem here.
AI doesn't know what kind of person you are, so by default it acts as if you too were an AI.
If you're too far and have good relation with his ennemy AI won't even bother asking you, since it would refuse if roles were reversed.
You can either help by attacking the baddie on your own, or use the enforce peace (if your friend is defender) to forcefully join the war.