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https://eu4.paradoxwikis.com/Burgundian_events#Burgundian_events_regarding_Low_Countries
You can avoid all of the nasty revolts by keeping them as your vassal.
Or if you really want to own the land directly you need to move your capital into Low Countries region, or change primary culture to Dutch or Flemish.
If you have Common Sense DLC you can use "return province". Click on the province you own, and if other country has claim on the province there will be return province button next to add/remove province to HRE. If the nation you are returning province to does not exist, you are releasing new one-province country. Costs prestige.
You can release nations as vassals and then "Break Vassalization" (Diplomatic action) at the cost of prestige and opinion.
You cannot break vassalization though while you have a truce, and releasing a vassal creates a truce with them. Five years I think. Pretty sure this always applies, but maybe there are exceptions?
To do best in the HRE, you will need to learn to love border gore. Having little enclaves bording as many HRE minors as possible maximizes you ability to "warn" them and get CBs up when needed. I feel like you, but got used to it. I personally like to get to the point where all the HRE princes are enclaves in my nation though. Less chance they attack eachother then.
FYI this return province feature can be a bit odd. I wanted to return a province to create Kiev, but it would only let me return it to Lithuania, then a bit later it would let me return it and create Kiev. This is mainly an issue when taking land in a peace deal for the purpose of creating new HRE princes; can be hard to determine who the province will be returned to. I allow myself save scumming in these cases tbh.
True.
But if you plan ahead and have a good Diplo ruler you can probably afford being over relationship limit for the duration of the truce. (And/Or do it one or two vassals at a time)