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As Profailer said the tank should use the ring that makes enemies pick him/her more often as the target for their attacks, so the other player can inflict damage from relative safety.
The ring is an early game purchase right past the training ground zone at the Majula zone(You buy/upgrade stuff there as you unlock NPCs throught the game), and do watch a short video or two on co-oping.
I'd recommend that both of you join the Blue Apostoles covenant since you're going to get invaded sooner or later, and that covenant is also available at Majula, just talk to all NPCs there before moving on.
Any suggestions on the caster build to go along with the Str/Faith Paladin?