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First of all, defense comes not only from armor, and not only from elemental resistance, but also is boosted by all the different damage-reduction mods from skills, gear and paragon. Also, as pointed out already, Life is important, point is, all of it (Life/Armor/Resistance/DR) has to be taken into account, you cannot focus on just armor and resistance, if you got low life and dr.
Regarding what killed you, part of the game is to learn enemy types and bosses, some enemy type can have nasty abilities or general mechanics, like spiders and their venom + those exploding "carriers", skeleton corpse bows, or the plenty of "telegraphed" attacks by all the "big" guys of enemy types, like preparing a charge or overhead attack.
And those attacks can hurt alot depending on your def, even outright kill you.
Regarding the Blood Maiden, what you should avoid obv. is the expanding fire ring, and also not standing where she "throws down" those elite adds when she jumps up in the sky, or where she lands afterwards.
But then, there is those thin red rings that can occur around individual players during the fight, and those will drop a red circle the same size every couple of seconds or so. I assume it's also fire damage they deal, regarding the visual, the point is, if players stay in place and stack those circles, then the ground at that place becomes burning hell. Every player for himself has to watch out that he doesn't stack those rings/keeps out of stacked areas. The rings will disappear after a short time.
So while you obviously have to learn the attack patterns and telegraphs of the bosses like the Blood Maiden, the trash she summons can also hurt alot and you have to watch out for those, too, especially if there is several players and they spawn in attacks due to their individual Helltide threat level (Hellborne at worst). Usually the (combined) crowd control and AoE damage of several players deals with the trash easily while focusing on the boss, a group of those kamikaze exploders unchecked, or some champion splitting your skull with his overhead heavy attack, can still ruin your day.