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Also changing gear early on will not always be a good idea, lets say you have specific build for new blind walkthrough to explore and enjoy the game, wear the things that will actually havr improvement more than losing benefits, so dont always change for item power, but also see if thr properties and such matter or not for your current build.
and also you get some really good drops in tier 4 that will want to make you do another build.
You described the mechanics of literally every isometric ARPG in the market: grinding and loot that causes the "swap", except if you do it so often you are either extremely lucky or you don't know what you really need.
If you take forever to kill mobs, given how easy the game currently is, you didn't even bother to read the perks in your skill tree nor bothered to have them interacting properly, leave alone that at that level you didn't even touch the paragon boards.
ARPGs are not for you, If this is your first (and so it seems) now you know, if you knew already what you don't like I don't see why you even tried diablo.
It's like buying Formula 1 and complaining that all you have to do is racing.
The point of every ARPG: create a functional build with sinergies between every element involved, this goes for every game of this kind, if it's not something that you like to do (read, learn, plan) then of course you can't like this kind of games, doesn't matter how good or bad they are.
Too many people bought diablo due to an aggressive marketing campaign, not knowing what really is, they tried to make popular a genre that was always niche... result is that game is too easy for the veterans of the ARPGs and still too complex and hard to grasp for the casuals that bought it after seeing Megan Fox.
The game is not finished, but most of the critics moved to it are no sense:
"whats the point of reading skill perks?"
"why do I have to create a char every season?"
"do I have to grind the whole time?"
If your complaints are along the line of the above it's simply not your genre and there is nothing they can do to make you like it, s2 got a lot of improvements, many more will come and the game will be fixed, but the roots of the genre are firm... those are not going to change.
Grind -> loot -> minmax: don't like? play something else, that's how Arpgs work, that's their core.
I play Baldurs gate III on Tactican hardest difficulty its far harder than mindless grinding , u obviously cannot comprehend , its about how tiresome it is , its quite opposite people who play Diablo 4 have lower IQ on average, give them something to sit ,plan ,read and think and execute masterful strategic plan is a whole different story, Its true i feel im losing brain cells because these type of games fry your brain , one becomes like an automated drone and machine press few clicks and killing thousands mobs, when i see clips of people clearing dungeons with ball sorcerer and just looking obsessively at screen they appear like ghouls, u are made yourself look stupid
People who play these type of games inevitably become limited and dull , your brain gets used to it, especially if overdo it.
YOur average Diablo fan would get lost and frustrated in any game that requires complex tactical planning, reading and solving puzzles.
7 years old can finish Diablo ,why would anyone bother and force themselve sto play if they do not enjoy it. This community is garbage in general u are one of the countless examples
Those who enjoy standard FPS games, Diablo, or WoW MMO grinding show low signs of intelligence , its inevitable.
Whatever you wanna say about complex or easy or whatever, you LITERALLY admitted you couldn't make a build work at level 68.
Paragon trees are complex enough to not be too dull and there is some build complexity, which is satisfying enough.
Is it as complex as PoE (or rather PoB)? No. Does it have to be? Also no. If I wanna play that, I do that (like every league start for the last 10 years).
But let's be real, most PoE players only use guides, because it's TOO complex. So with that the game doesn't even have any complexity left for them, because following a guide is "dull" again I guess.
Edit:
Also regarding your edit.
Right now I enjoy D4 more than PoE.
I have an IQ around 140-170, studied maths and work in IT.
Having FUN in a game has nothing to do with high or low intelligence or whatever. It's subjective. If you don't have fun here, then that's just the way it is. Not because you are "too intelligent" (or "too dumb" idk)