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So it really doesn't matter if it's a spell or just a check-able in-game function, you will still ended up meeting friends while you're in Do Not Disturb mode like how you met your friends doing the spell anyway. The only difference is you need to get the spell (and it's limited) either for free or paid in this game, which makes it a wee bit harder to be a "d***head" compared to the free-use function that doesn't have restriction in other games.
Or just use external chat apps that truly lets you talk in private without anyone able to eavesdrop on you. Yes, not all "friends" will share their private messenger with you, but then again, if that "friend" doesn't want to share an external chat with you, he/she isn't worth your time to go "private" with anyway.