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Being someone who works at EA, I can absolutely believe this.
Don't think there's any way to actually control whether you'll be hosting or getting dropped into someone else's mission.
Ah, fair. For free roam areas, that makes sense.
Uhhh... killing ships quickly is most definitely not being a '♥♥♥'. Aside from the fact that you'll get full exp so long as you're within affinity sharing range, many of the bounty objectives on PoE have bonus objectives that specifically hinge on killing enemies as quickly as possible, and NOT doing something like that can easily cost you that bonus.
Sure it's not as much fun if you're the lowbie just sitting there watching, but people aren't doing it spite you, either. There's legitimate reasons to be destroying them as fast as possible. A common example is when you have to clear an enemy camp and prevent them from 'retaking' it. Downing the dropships before they offload troops is easily one of the best ways to both keep enemies out of the zone, and rack up kills to keep the meter low so you don't lose the bonus.
You may want to form a squad from "recruited" players, friends, clanmates, discord guys, which they know what is your objective as you explained to them.
You can't solve loneliness ;3
You can call on AI teammates if you feel lonely.
Like, on-call crew girl who came at your room when called, free of service charge.