To start off, the tutorial made it feel like I was going through an ISIS-training camp while secretly hiding my homosexuality to avoid getting stoned to death by the camp management. The movement feels like you are swimming through a thick goo made up of sperm, sex-offender sweat that has been conserved in an old hot dog bun for 34,78 years whilst getting burnt in the flames of purgatory. And whilst all this was infecting my mind and eyes Lucifer himself was whispering in my ear to kill myself (which didn’t feel like such a bad idea at the time). It also felt like lil phoebe was under my table, but instead of the sweet sensation you might expect it was as if she had grew fangs as sharp as a spinosaurus, and she used these to mangle my rod into oblivion whilst simultaneously giving me anal space herpes with a touch of interdimensional AIDS.

This game is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ass is so ass it makes me want to shoot my school up and jump off the nearest skyscraper with a bomb strapped to my chest in a crowd of people

very cool