Dilemna of writing a biography for my characters :(. If you would like, please include your biography as well!

[Arxis]

I almost feel a bit ashamed for even starting to write this, but it does bring some reassurance that I am on the internet and anonymous to some degree, so I seek some comfort in that lol. Anyways, I would like to write a biography for each of my 6 custom-made characters. The problem is, I don't have too much vocabulary within my word selection. My reading comprehension is horrendous, I have bad focus and attention span, and I have major writer's block. I also don't have too much experience with school due to personal reasons. I just sorta feel that I shouldn't even bother writing a biography if I cannot write to the standards that I want. I'm a perfectionist by nature, it's hardcoded into my system, and regardless of how well I write, I would probably always set the standards a notch higher, it's a vicious cycle that I cannot break and get out of. The primary reason as to why I would like to add a biography for each of my characters is to deepen the immersion and to grow an attachment to my characters. Anyways, I'm interested in your characters' biography as well, so please include them if you would like! Here is one of the biographies that I wrote for my archer, actually this is the only one I have written so far. If I am to dedicate myself in writing a biography for each of my characters, that's 5 more to go! *Forces a grin*

Name: Zolt

Leader of a rogue revolutionary group primarily comprised of deadly archers named, "The Judgment Arrows". Like an archer, he is the one who draws the strings within the group’s operations and calls the shots. The group's ideologies are strongly placed in the philosophical concept of Utilitarianism; the greater good. Although there are no moral codes tied to Utilitarianism, it is the group's number one most important code to constantly strive to make the world a better place for the greatest amount of people for the most morally correct reason. Gathering Intel, sabotaging a plan, and even assassinations are all part of their agenda, so long as their duties abide by the code. Growing up, Zolt wanted to work in the medical field; primarily a researcher. It has always been Zolt’s personality to help others in need. At the age of 15, Zolt discovered his father’s old grimy bow tucked away in the dusty-filled basement during his search for old medical books. The bow has piqued his interest and curiosity at a magnitude that almost felt like a supernatural calling. This marks the beginning of Zolt’s new life as it cultivates into something much greater, and eventually becoming one of the greatest archer to have ever lived. In his early 20s, Zolt entered numerous competitions and has always won 1st place. With Zolt’s outstanding number of 1st place victories, there are skeptics who claim that Zolt is cheating, but generally not following up with a rational reasoning as to how he may even be cheating. During one of his competitions, he met a female contestant named Illia who captivated Zolt’s eyes with her beautiful blue eyes and lush blonde hair neatly tucked in a bun. They became a couple, and most of their time spent together was practicing trick shots with the bow and challenging each other. Illia eventually became pregnant with Zolt, but during one eerie night, a dark-cloaked man assassinated Illia while she was alone in her home. Zolt grew suspicious at Illia’s continued absence and decided to break into her home. He didn’t want to believe, and he had instead bitterly hoped that the corpse was anyone amongst Illia’s family member other than Illia herself, but he remembers the very same unique hairstyle of Illia that makes her distinctive than all the rest; it was Illia. Next to Illia’s corpse was a note that read, “You shouldn’t have cheated, fool”. Upon only a mere few seconds after reading the note, Zolt has already made the dedication to swear revenge at all costs even at the expense of his own life. With his profound medical knowledge and expertise of the bow, he combined those two skillsets and developed unique arsenals at his disposal. Cyanide-tipped arrows, poisonous gas bombs, serrated daggers, all of which makes him a truly efficient killer, he is no longer the passionate man that was so eager to go to archery competitions. His incredible desire for revenge consumed at his heart, becoming less of who he used to be and whose functions are that of a lion; living in a fixated life, where all he does is eat, sleep, and hunt the man who murdered Illia. After a decade has passed, he grew tired of tracking down the man who killed Illia, and felt that it was time to let go of the revenge that consumed him. Zolt, at the age of 33 must live his own life eventually, and it is what Illia would have wanted best for him. His personality of when he was a young boy has remain unchanged; he wanted to make the world a better place. There are criminals on the loose, greedy merchants finding deceitful ways to cheat their customers, corrupt politicians developing a system of ways to benefit themselves instead of their people. Zolt turned over a new chapter and founded a rogue revolutionary group, “The Judgment Arrows” to counter any and all unlawful deeds made by unlawful people throughout the world. Illia would surely have been proud. Zolt dedicates the founding of his new group to Illia and their unborn child through his life until death.

[Everwinter]

Oni Nox

Son to the greatest Kensia of Neverwinter. However during a battle against a powerful Lich allied with a Necromancer Vampire in the dead of night. Sneaking past their undead army was child's play to him, but his own friends thought of it as magic being used. To the common uneducated masses was considered an act of a Immortal being or god. Worse is when he succeeded in killing the two namely villans by himself, returning without even a scratch, was when he looked at as a Demon in disguised as a human. He had many names but Demon King stuck in everyone's thoughts the most, even to his own family. He had to leave Neverwinter immediatly to search for one willing to help him fix his actions. Finding a dragon as white as snow after weeks of little rest was sadly the only one who happened to have the needs to grant a fraction of his wish. Trading his katana, the sword he mastered his kensai skills with had a mind of its own was considered one the most powerful cursed blades a mortal could wield, for an experimental item a hedge wizard created in a failed attempt to make a name for herself. This "item" was very unstable and very unreliable, however unless a god granted his wish it was his only option. The dragon flew over Neverwinter in the dead of night under a new moon to sprinkle of dust of the grounded up item, making all forget the events of the past year. With no recollection of the war and their hero named villan's deeds. He still had to leave to the far off lands of the Sword Coast so as to not accidently disrupt the magic, and so he just became another another nameless, forgotten champion to all of Neverwinter. In his travel to the Sword Coast he tries his hardest to avoid trouble and adventure at all cost, but his very being wouldn't allow him to let any innocent be harmed in his presence. Even with only a wooden staff for a weapon he was more then a match for even a full scale bandit raid of common thugs, not to mention a trio of drunks attempting to kill a Nymph. They would only have a bad headache for the rest of the week, and only half way to the Sword Coast he thought it was far enough to settle down close to Waterdeep. Nearly a year later of sound peace Nox was born, but even though he was half human the only traits he got from his mother was the use of magic that his father could not even understand the basics to. Fate is fickle for those with power, and that of a Nymph's is most unavoidable. A forest fire breaks out on a stormy night burning his mothers tree and in turn killing her in front of his eyes at the age of 5. It was time to head further south after such a night of deep pain to the hearts of father and son. Reaching Candlekeep at the age of 8 Nox was already tall and well built for his age after years of hard travel and full life for him at the time of always living in the wilderness. Nox's father quickly accended to the rank of Captain of the Guards. Even living near waterdeep Nox was never in the presence of anyone besides his family and animals. Three years on the road again forced Nox's father to teach him the art of war and single combat so Nox had means of protecting himself should anything happened to the nameless hero. Make friends with anyone his own age is nigh impossible for Nox, even among adults he was a troubled kid to get along with. However there was a select few in Candlekeep that understood him enough to hold a conversation longer then three to four sentences long, the librarians. It was with them that taugh him magic, but only showing him the basic and the means to quickly learning more once he decided his training and powers as a Kensai has reached its peak. Nox had a secret motive to not only get back at the world for what it has done to him and his father, but to also show the truth to the whole world what powers a mear mortal could gain so as to never be confused with the powers from those of other planes. Nox not only wanted to clear his fathers image so they may all remember him for the hero he really was, but to also become much stronger then him. Nox knew why he was named night from another language, so he took his fathers forgotten title as his own as well in the language of a far away land. Oni Nox, Demon Night, and to his enemies the Demon Prince as a dry joke. Now at the age of 20 Nox, his father retired, leaves Candlekeep with someone who even he has avoided because of the smell of blood eminating from an innocent. So unnerving how one who hasn't been stained with blood smells as if always bathing in it, but upon leaving Nox noticed the look in this one's eyes has changed, the smell of blood is now obviously real now. Nox's new travel companion's hands are still tinted pink from not thoroughly washing away the blood. This one feels like trouble will always be drawn to them.

"Power flows through this one. This one will gain more power. I Need more power. Your sword, your image, and your life WILL be returned to you father. I just hope that I won't be too late. Maybe, just maybe, I can also find your name."

Why was my father never given a name at birth? So with duel wield training katanas and the thought of magic not far from the Nox's thoughts he sets out to make his own story in the process of recovering his father's with this strange person beside him.

[Everwinter]

wouldn't mind playing multi player with you if you are looking to make a full custom party.

[ShinsFortress]

I think you're fishing. Reading comprehension horrendous? Not if you're a perfectionist, which you say you are. Looks like a not uncommon case of OCD. But... to answer your question....

If you genuinely want lots of feedback and cannot proof read yourself, please at least make it easier to read. Spelling, Grammar and basic Syntax are all vitally important, 99% as much as content is. But neglecting formatting to make things less visually arduous to take in, will likely reduce the amount of people willing to read that entire wall of text.

Personally, my own thoughts having read some:-
3) too long. Baldur's Gate is a game and an old one. Very few (if any) people will read those bios in-game. Short bios work best for BG characters.
2) The writing reads like stuff I used to put out. Twenty years ago when I was an undergraduate student who thought he was cleverer than he is. Are you writing a novella or short story here, or character bios in a video game?
1) Originality. Why is almost every beginning (don't worry, not only yours!) riddled with suicidally depressing origins. Why can't someone come from a happy place, for a change, and decide to join the group to help against evil/whatever simply because it is the 'right' thing to do?

>>>
Carol Connelly: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you-...

Melvin Udall: It's not true. Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.
<<<

Sometimes, just sometimes, it's okay to have good times. With or without noodle salad.

[Everwinter]

4 things.

1 it isnt even possible to paste more then 1/3 to 1/4 in the bio anyways of what we just posted, so mostly just for personal RP sharing.

2 is the main character already has a happy peaceful story that is just as boring as the beginning into to the Farmer living his life till krugs attacked and got him into the story, feels more interesting if it isnt fully peaceful but not all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you had a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up childhood so i can see why your messed up in the head. just depends on allignment on how tragic or peaceful a bio is. and yes ppl can go overboard with length, but it is a lot harder to find that perfect length of not too short or long then to just go with too long or just a short foot note.

3 it is the internet so everyone will fail at smelling, hammer, and latex. oops i mean spelling, grammer, and syntax. people do try, but because this isnt a job application or a report to hand in everyone just lets it out and go ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ button smashing ^,.,^

4 noodle salads ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rock

[ShinsFortress]

Originally posted by Gaz_RBC:

-You flirted with the stable girls and even Imoen... not knowing she was your damn sister. This makes the discovery even more disturbing, and such things can add alot to a character.

Yeah, worked for Luke & Leia, and hasn't been done to death yet elsewhere in popular fiction.

[ShinsFortress]

No, I don't think everything has been done to death. But, if you do feel that way, my point is suggesting and requesting that writers should try more often to do things that are *less* done to death.

I might have fruits and vegetables of varying degress of freshness at home. None of them are just out of the ground or off the tree, but the freshER ones I usually enjoy more.

PS: not all heroes are dead.

[Everwinter]

jeeze i said the father was the best not the character who owns the bio. pretty much in a sum up of the bio i posted was father was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ epic till everyone turned on him so he had to run like a bat out of hell. has a kid who he teaches how to hold his own. kid has mostly peaceful childhood life till mother nature and fate wanted to be a ♥♥♥♥. mostly isolated even among other people, but very self reliant. secretly trains to help his dad return what everyone took from him. then leaves with the bhaal spawn to gain more power to fulfill a childish dream.
so really all Nox has is just a plan for his future. never said anywhere in it that he already has a giant leap to completing it.

people don't post stuff to have others who aren't a licensed critic to say that it is total ♥♥♥♥ unless asked for (and most the time everyone that does post stuff like this knows that it is total ♥♥♥♥ anyways, so don't rub it in please). i didn't ask for it. i knew i was maybe laying it down thick but it was for about the bio that made my character's bio begin, so i thought wtf go ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ creating something on the spot out of the blue. kid who just has a dream that is impossible and might as well get him killed half way through it, good ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ luck.

PS what is a Mary Sue/Stu?

[Everwinter]

lol that it's a curse being so beautiful (or some varient) is a great example of over used. yet oddly still can be funny

[meme]

CRINGE LOL

[Everwinter]

woah ♥♥♥♥ i didnt think i was still sub to this discussion. makes me want to play this game again.... meh ♥♥♥♥ it i think i will after i finish last renmant again =/